Still My Star
by LGgirl0990
Summary: Jacob don't do this to me" I whispered He laughed at me, "Like you said Bells you chose this" I grabbed his hands firmly in mine "I don't want it to end this way for us" The mask was back, he ripped his hands out of mine "Too damn bad"
1. Perlude

_AN: Okay so this is my first fanfic and i hope you like it. Original characters will be introduced in later chapters. _

_Please don't knock it till you try it. _

_If you don't like Jacob it will get better. and if you like him well...sorry enjoy the happiness while it lasts._

_All the characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.*Sigh* a girl can dream! _

_

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_Prelude

"No," Jacob shook his head "I'm exactly right for you, Bella. It would have been effortless for us-- comfortable, easy as breathing. I was the natural path your life would have taken..." He stared off into space for a moment, and I waited. "If the world was the way it was supposed to be, if there were no more monsters and no magic..."

I could see what he saw, and I knew that he was right. If the world was the sane place it was supposed to be, Jacob and I would have been together. And we would have been happy. He was my soul mate in that world- suddenly I wanted it to be that world. I couldn't live without Jacob. And I realized that I didn't want to.

I looked at him shocked at my conclusion. I realized that I didn't want to live in a world without him. In my darkest time, the new moon of my life, Jacob was my hope of a better tomorrow. How could I bear to live without my sun? But my world could not survive without both a moon and a sun. Edward would always be my moon. We were pulled together like two planets orbiting around each other. I could not survive without my sun. Jacob smiled at me sadly.

"I know what your gonna say Bells, but I just wanted you to know." I smiled at him, my life had meaning. I wanted to live with Jacob. Suddenly I saw it, me standing with Jacobs arms around me as two young boys with black curly hair bounded towards us. Jacob's laugh as we sat around a huge table with Emily, Sam, and the rest of the pack. Our two boys laughing along with him. This was the life I wanted, a simple life with Jacob.

"Jacob," I grabbed his face between my hands, the warmth spread immediately. "I love you," I suddenly realized the gravity of what I had done. I started to cry immediately. "Bella, honey, whats wrong?"

"I love you Jacob and I want to stay with you." the sobs rocked harder through my body. I was going to lose Edward again.

my moon.

But I had already lost him once and survived. And now I was stronger and with Jacob by my side, I knew I could thrive.

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_I know its not much, but please R&R!!!!! _


	2. Chapter 1: Family

_Thank you for the nice review :) In this chapter i wanted to show the everyday life for Bella. So it is Monday night which is family dinner night for the pack. _

_Next chapter...a little steamy for Bella and Jacob. I am putting on the finishing touches now..._

_All of the Characters belong to Stephanie Meyer...*but i want Edward to be mine* _

_Enjoy :)

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_*five years later*

Chapter 1

Family

"Boys, come and get it!" I yelled out the front door. I heard a gentle rustling in the bushes in front of the house and soon a large russet wolf lopped into the front lawn, carrying the most precious cargo. Two young boys with black hair, and big, brown, sensitive, eyes. Our sons. They pushed and shoved each other playfully as they ran up the stairs. I gave them a severe look and the shoving stopped. "Sorry mom," Charlie said sincerely, looking down with embarrassment. Caleb, however, smiled and shoved him again.

More like his father everyday. Just then Jacob walked into the small kitchen. I smiled as he crossed the room and grabbed me by the tops of the arms. He kissed me passionately and I kissed him back without remorse.

"Ewwwww! Dad girls have cooties!" Caleb yelled at us,

"Well," Jacob said smiling. "maybe I like having cooties, its how we got you."

I smacked his arm, "Jacob!"

"Well its true!" he similed happily at me. He grabbed the lasagna.

I smiled and warned warned, "Save some for the rest of the family." Family, such a peaceful word. And a family was exactly what we were. Sam and Emily now had a little one named Hita which meant lovable, and she was the cutest little thing. She looked like a little miniature Emily, except with Sam's gentle eyes. Claire, who had just turned 8 was now living with Quil, by his request of course, needless to say Quil was on edge these days; Jared and Kim were expecting a new little one. Tonight everyone was coming over to our little house.

A timer made me jump out of my trance. I walked into the small warm kitchen, I took the homemade bread-sticks out of the oven and brushed garlic butter over the top. A sudden outburst of laughter made me turn around, and saw the boys on the ground.

"Boys no wrestling in the house," a normal reprimand I'd gotten used to.

Charlie nodded and quietly got up from the table and headed for the door. Caleb followed suit, in a not so quiet manner. He smiled ruefully at me and stomped outside in protest. I felt big strong hands on my waist. I turned around to face Jacob.

"We make beautiful babies Bells."

"I make beautiful babies. You," I poked my finger in his chest playfully "make them feisty, and troublesome." I smiled up at him ruefully. He smirked at me, then he melted into the Jacob that I knew and loved. He leaned in and hesitated, his breathing hitched, I smiled at him tenderly and pulled his lips to mine. He kissed me gently, his lips soft on mine making the kiss sweeter. Just then there was a roar of laughter outside.

Jacob grinned, and I sighed. "Come on, lets go meet the goons."

Jacob's laugh filled the tiny room.

Everyone sat around the over-sized table. All the guys dug into the food as the girls watched. Paul and Quil fought over the last bread-stick, finally Quil won, and shoved the whole thing in his mouth, swallowing it in one bite.

"Geez Quil, you just wulfed the whole thing!" Claire squealed. Laughter thundered through the house. Sam howled with laughter, Jacob rolled on the floor unable to breath he was laughing so hard. Quil almost choked on a homemade chocolate chip cookie, and once recovered, smiled at me sheepishly. Quil hadn't told Claire about his wolfish self, after all she was only eight years old. The laughter died eventually. The guys were done eating and the ladies cleaned up after. Emily held a bottle to Hita's mouth. The little girls black hair and russet colored skin reminded me of Emily but her eyes, her eyes were completely Sam's. And how Sam did love her. He coddled and loved on her all night. Spinning her around the room, throwing her up in the air. The love in his eyes when he held his little girl almost made me want to cry. Jared never left Kim's side, his eyes sparkled when she hobbled over to where all the ladies were standing. She finally pushed him away lovingly

"Go be with your brothers." Jared shook his head. Emily and I smiled knowingly. Kim rolled her eyes.

"Go." she gave him a gentle push. He slowly walked over to where Sam and Jacob were talking in hushed tones. Official wolf business I assumed.

"So Kim," I leaned over the counter, "How is pregnancy treating you?"

"Shut up, just because you can bend from the waist." Emily and I laughed. She sighed contently placing her hand on top of her swollen stomach.

"You know that if you ever need anything, feel free to let us know." Emily said seriously.

"You girls are like the sisters I never had." Kim said sincerely, tears gathering at the corner of her eyes. "Damn hormones." she muttered as she whipped them away.

I noticed Paul in the corner of the room, sitting in our old leather chair, by himself. He was watching the kids play.

"Do you guys notice anything different about Paul?" I asked. Emily looked at Paul and smiled knowingly

"Yeah hes got it bad." Emily whispered

"Who? Paul? Oh yeah he does!" Kim replied she also had the knowing smile too. Was I missing something.

"What are you guys talking about? I don't see anything." I asked

"Bella thats the look they get when they first find their imprint! Oh I am so excited for him, I wonder who she is?" Emily smiled happily.

That was funny Jacob never looked at me like that.

"Hey Em, did Jacob ever look that way?" I asked questioningly.

Emily's expression changed, she frowned slightly,

"No I don't remember him ever having 'the look' now that you mention it."

I frowned "i wonder why that is." I whispered although I already knew the reason.

Jacob never imprinted on me.

"I'm sure that it is nothing to worry about, I mean he loves you right?" I nodded still distracted.

"And Sam told me that after two years the chances of him imprinting go down dramatically."

"But Paul has had five years and he still imprinted." I moaned, tears streaming down my face.

"Bella I didn't mean to upset you, I just...oh I am so sorry." she turned me around to face her.

"Its okay, I know you didn't mean it...i just...i can't lose another person I love." I wiped the tears from my eyes. Emily's eyes were sympathetic. I could not look at her, so I looked away.

I looked at my two boys, who were wrestling with their father (who was pretending to lose).

"Have you ever thought," I asked Emily "that we don't deserve this happiness?" Emily nodded, thinking quietly to herself.

"I think about it all the time, but the reward is worth the risk don't you think?"

I nodded turning my eyes away, everything was perfect, just as it should be. There was no reason to worry about it. But I was still uneasy. It was like the calm before the storm.

Paul was reading _The Three Little Pigs_ to Charlie, when I noticed him nodding off.

"Time for bed." I said

"I agree." Emily smiled.

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_Thats right Paul has a girl!! OC i am so excited for you to meet her...in a few chapters! Please R&R _

_Just in case you didn't read that here it is again PLEASE R&R!!!! it is very important to me to hear what you think!_

_Thanks! :)  
_


	3. Chapter 2: The Dream

_Thank you guys for the awesome reviews!!! I got 200 some hits on the last chapter...totally cool!:) makes me smile!_

_So this chapter is Bella's dream about Edward and Jacob...then some steamy steamy from Jacob!!!_

_I know Jacob haters are going to hate his chapter but hey! It will get a lot better and soon._

Unfortunately these characters belong to Stephenie Meyer! _But... but Edward I...LOVE YOU!!!!_ _*tear*_

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Chapter 2

The Dream

After the party, I tucked the boys in. Making sure that they really were asleep, I gently shut the door and leaned against it, I rubbed soothing circles into my aching temple. I walked into the bedroom and found Jake already asleep.

I sighed

I pulled back my side of the covers, and stared at the ceiling. I remembered the nights I spent with _Him._ I still could not say his name, afraid that it would trigger the hole to appear in my chest again. I choked back a sob as I remembered his perfect features. His eyes especially. My God how I missed him.

But wasn't I happy? Isn't this what I wanted? A life with Jacob I remembered that was what I decided I wanted. I was being selfish, I realized. Everything I could have wished for, I got with Jake. So what was missing? It was him, nothing else only he could make me feel this way when everything was going right.

damn him to hell.

I eventually cried myself to sleep. That night, my dreams were consumed by Edward. His smile, his voice, everything. In one of my dreams he stood in front of me as he had stood those many years ago, forever seventeen. He smiled my favorite crooked smile. I felt ashamed of leaving him, and utterly happy that I was with him again. He seemed to read my mind as he wrapped his arms around me and breathed in the scent of my hair. His coldness shocked me, I shivered. I whispered his name as I breathed in the scent of his skin. I wanted to apologize, to tell him that I never wanted to leave him again.

"Edward, I..." For once his name did not bring me pain, only pleasure.

"Bella," I gasped as he said my name. "i told you that I would not stop you if you wanted to be with him."

"Yeah I know, but..." I ducked my head into his chest.

"I love you, Bella." He whispered, as he lifted my chin so that our eyes met. "I will never leave you again, unless you send me away." His eyes intensified he leaned forward and touched his cold lips to mine. I really could not stop myself, I overreacted, again. My arms wound around his neck, and I pressed myself to mold to his body. He did not pull away as I thought he would, instead he intensified the kiss, until we were both gasping for breath. He laughed gently, then softly kissed me again.

"Bella?" fear gripped my inner core. I turned and looked at Jacob. His eyes held betrayal, anger, and most hurtful sadness. Edward released me immediately, I ran over to Jacob. He shook so hard that his whole body vibrated. I quickly realized the danger of the situation. I placed my hand on his shoulder. He flinched away from me.

"How could you do this to me, to our family?" his voice held accusations. Suddenly Edward was beside me again, his arm around my waist.

"What family?" He asked me questioningly. Then his eyes widened as he read Jacobs thoughts. He took a step away from me. Suddenly I was frightened would he run away, that he wouldn't want me anymore. I stepped forward and reached out to him. Suddenly Jacob was in front of me, fury radiating from his body.

"you want to leave everything that we have together...for this...this...bloodsucker! How can you do this to me, Bella I love you."  
He gently grabbed my hands, holding my hands in his. The heat from his hand burnt my cooled skin.

"I can't help how I feel." I whispered quietly, a tear running down my face.

"Well your gonna have to figure it out."

He stepped out of the way so that I was in between him and Edward, he wanted me to choose. I looked at Edward pleadingly, his expression hard and unreadable. I looked at Jacob, and he knew, his eyes full of pain. Memories flashed in front of my eyes, memories of Edward, and Jacob, our children. My life was ending right now, between the two loves of my life. I felt dizzy and I couldn't breath. My heart was being ripped out of my chest, and there was nothing i could do to stop it. I woke up screaming in Jacobs arms. He pressed my face to his chest trying to comfort me, his hands smoothed my hair.  
"Shush, Bella baby its gonna be okay. Baby shush." he cooed gently.  
I continued to cry until i couldn't cry any more. When I had finally calmed down enough he pulled away and looked at me sadly.

"You said his name."

I stiffened.

I played it stupid, "whose name?"

"At first it was my name," He frowned, "but then you said 'Edward' and I knew you were dreaming about him."

Pain ripped through my chest as he said his name. It became difficult for me to breath. I took a shuttered breath "It was a nightmare not a dream,"

"Its okay Bells really, I love you. And in the end it doesn't matter because I'm the one you chose." He kissed my forehead.

I angled my head back. I wanted him to kiss me. I mean really kiss me. I wanted to forget the beautiful cold lips and the man who owned them. I wanted to feel the heat of his lips on mine and the promise of forever. He lowered his lips until they were a breath away from mine. My body tingled with the idea of him kissing me. He smiled as he pressed his lips to mine.

Kissing Jacob was nothing like kissing _Him. _With Jacob it was like slow moving heat, powerful and unstoppable, like molten lava. It rolled over me, consumed me. With _Him_ it didn't make sense, unstoppable fire engulfed me. Burning hot and fast, never able to control it.

At first the kiss was sweet and gentle. Our lips danced in perfect harmony. But I wanted more, I bit his bottom lip lightly, he growled.  
This time he kissed me fiercely, demanding, and I gave everything I had. Our tongues entwined, each giving and taking. Slow scorching heat, consumed me. I tasted every part of him, greedily taking. My arms were wrapped around his neck, my hands entwined in his hair, tugging slightly. He pulled away gasping for breath. I struggled to breath evenly. He kissed along my jaw line, and back again. Then his mouth met mine with a force unknown to me. His hands which were rubbing my back were now searching for bare skin. He hovered over me, so that every curve of him was pressed against me. My hands fumbled with his shirt. Skin met skin, I rose over the wave of sweet ecstasy. He whispered my name as he kissed my hair.

I buried my face into his chest. A silent tear fell down my cheek.

Later on that morning Jacob got out of bed reluctantly to take a shower. I followed him into the bathroom, washing my face gently with my washcloth, rubbing over my eyes, and mouth. I rinsed out my wash cloth and splashed cool water on my face. I felt warm arms wrap around my waist.

"Love you Bells." he whispered in my ear.

"Love you too." I said smiling.

He walked out of the bathroom. I stood in front of the mirror with both hands clutching either side of the sink. Tears rolled freely down my cheeks.

"I love you Edward." The hole where my heart had been ripped open, sucking the breath right out of me. I could not stop the sobs from coming, to silence it I shoved the washcloth into my mouth. I managed to stop crying and took a shower, gently working the conditioner into my tangled hair. When I walked out to the kitchen, pancakes were on the table and the boys were digging in.

"What is this?" I asked amused, " Daddy knows how to cook?!!" I laughed.

He frowned as he placed another pancake on my plate. "ha ha ha yeah laugh it up Bells."

The boys giggled at us. I sat down and poured syrup on my pancakes then I scoped it up with my fork.

After breakfast, Jacob kissed me and hurried off to work. I got the boys dressed and ready for preschool.

"Hurry up Caleb!" I yelled as I opened the door.

"Your going to be late for school!" he walked slowly towards the front door, with a smile on his face.

Errrr kids!

I grabbed his hand and pulled him to the car where Charlie was waiting patiently. He was such a good boy.

I dropped the boys off at school and headed for home.

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_So whatya think, my very first steamy part but not the last to be sure!  
So I expect lots of Reviews because i still want to hear what you have to say!  
thank you!_


	4. Chapter 3: Friends

Chapter 3  
Friends

I gently opened the oven door, a wave of heat fluttered across my face. The sweet smell of apple pie filled my senses. I closed the door quickly and added five more minutes to the timer. I closed my eyes and breathed a sigh of relief, baking always seemed to calm me down. There were always instructions, directions to tell me what to do. Everything was always in exact measurement, and if something when wrong you knew it was because you added to much or to little of some ingredient. But in the real world something could happen for no apparent reason, and you never knew if it was your fault. Things didn't make since in the real world, it wasn't like baking.

I opened my eyes, ugh i thought. The only bad thing about baking, was cleaning up the mess. I grabbed a washcloth, might as well get started now instead of having to do it when the boys got back. It wasn't everyday that i got time to myself. It was kinda nice. Today when i picked up the boys from preschool they seemed like they were in a particularly troublesome mood. I thought i was going to lose my mind, but when Jacob came home from work he seemed to be in a really good mood.

_"Hey Guys," Jacob said as he walked through the door. "How are my two favorite boys doing today?" _

_The boys got the hint immediately. Daddy was in a good mood! They took full advantage of that when the jumped on him. _

_"Daddy, daddy, daddy!" Caleb laughed as he pulled on Jacob's arm wanting to be lifted. Jacob pulled him up onto his shoulders._

_Charlie ran over to Jacob arms spread wide, Jacob caught him and swung him up into his arms. _

_"Whats got you in such a good mood?" I asked grumpily, he might have had a good day but i most certainly did not. _

_"Aww come on Bells can't a man be happy to see his wonderful, beautiful," I growled at him. Sucking up was not going to help him any. "and apparently grumpy wife." He added._

_"Fiancé!" i muttered under my breath. Even after all these years i still didn't like the word. I know he heard me, usually this would have started an fight. But not today. _

_ he ignored my comment "You know Bells it looks like you could use a break from the little rascals." He rumpled Charlie's hair. " Why don't i take them off your hands for a little while?"_

_Maybe he was right, i needed a break. This would be the perfect, just me, and the silence. Fifteen minutes later... I was bored. So I started baking._

Right now they were probably chasing rabbits. Well werewolves will be werewolves.

I placed the dishes in the sink to be washed. that was when there was a knock on the door. i frowned who would that be.  
Anything that would keep me from cleaning, I would take it. I whipped my hands on my apron as I walked to the door. I answered the door and to my shock it was Paul. His long hair was standing on end like he had been running his hands through it. He shoved his hands into his pockets.

"Hey Bella, can we talk?" he asked shyly.

"Sure, come on in." Paul never came to me for anything. I think he kinda resented me for taking away another one of his pack members. After all most of the guys had found their imprint and started their family. He was the only bachelor in the group.

"Look Bella, I know we haven't gotten along so well in the past. But well...something has happened."

"Is something wrong?" I asked suddenly concerned. Had there been a terrible accident. Had my family...died? Tears welded up in my eyes.

"No, no...I just...its nothing like that. No don't cry Bella." he put his hand on my shoulder. It was odd to have Paul comforting me, of all people.  
I blinked back the tears that had gathered in my eyes. "Sorry," i mumbled

"No thats alright uh, Bella I need some advice, is that okay?" He was starring a hole in the floor by my feet.

"Sure Paul I'm not sure you should be asking me for advice...but I'll give my best shot." I added quickly seeing the worry in his eyes.

"Thanks Bella." He smiled slightly. Then he cleared his throat. "Do you remember when you and Jacob were uh...dating?"

"Yes." I answered confused, what did this have to do with Jacob?

He continued as if he didn't notice "Do you remember how you felt...about him?"

Yup I was definitely confused. "I love Jacob...I'm sorry Paul but what does this have to do with you?"

"Well you see..." suddenly he was nervous again, "I...well I...BellaIfoundsomeone." He said it so fast that i didn't understand him at first. Then i understood.

"You...Found...Someone?" I asked, I saw the look in his eyes, as he looked up at me.

Love.

"Is she here...Oh Paul can i see her?!" He smiled at my excitement.

Love saturated his voice, "Do you want to? She's been dying to meet you. I told her all about you."

"Well go get her, go on!" I shoved him out the door. I watched as he bounded down the stairs happily. My timer went off in the kitchen, i didn't want to leave the doorway. I quickly walked to the kitchen and pulled the pie from the oven. I examined my work. Perfect. I was inwardly celebrating my success, when i heard heavy footsteps, followed by the clicking sound of heels.

"Bella?" Paul called from the outer room.

"Yes." I called back. I walked into the room, and smiled.

"Bella this is Kara." He said proudly noticing my reaction.

Kara had short spiky red hair. She was tall and slender, and had the figure that most women would kill for. She wore dark jeans and a white tank top. She smiled as she took a step towards me, but her foot caught on the door frame, she started to fall, but was caught by Paul. She smiled sheepishly, but i was too busy laughing. She looked at Paul concerned. He cleared his throat. "Bella," I took a deep breath, ah a girl after my own heart.  
"Paul you didn't tell me she was a mini me." He stared at me for a second, then busted out laughing. Kara looked at the ground embarrassed. Paul grabbed her chin, he was still laughing when he kissed her. I looked away embarrassed.  
I heard a smack. I looked up surprised. Paul was rubbing his cheek. "Don't be rude Paul, Bella is in the room." she smiled at me.

I looked at Paul. The last time that i hit a werewolf, i broke my hand into pieces. Either she was a superhero. Or Paul was pretending to be hurt? and why would he do that if she knew about his Wolfy self. I figured that it wasn't the first. The question became, why was Paul pretending to be hurt?

"Paul can you help me in the kitchen." He caught my eye, he knew he was in trouble.

I walked into the kitchen and waited as he told Kara that he would just be one minute. He walked past me and sat on the counter.

"Paul..." I started

"I know what your going to say Bella." he interrupted me. I waited for him to continue, but he didn't he just starred at me.

"Tell me that you told her, Paul." I said, as i glared at him intently. Oh he was sooo dead.

"I can't."

"Don't you think that she deserves to know?" I said angrily

"I was going to tell her..."

"When? Paul. How about when you suddenly go wolf on her ass because you simply got angry at her, and she didn't know! Do you want her to be like Emily, I bet Sam regrets not telling her. How dare you put her in danger like this!" I whispered harshly at him.

He shifted uncomfortably.

"Its not something that comes up in a regular conversation, Bella! 'Oh yeah and by the way I'M A WEREWOLF! Hope this doesn't change anything between us, oh and by the way while we are being honest with each other...I IMPRINTED ON YOU!' Yea Bells that would work out real well!"His whole body was shaking. Shoot! I let him settle for a little while, he finally calmed down and he glared at me. "Plus its not like Jacob had to tell you, i mean you were with him through the whole thing."

I never really thought about it that way. I had known from the beginning, i had watched the transformation happen. But Kara had never even met Paul before...i mean how was he suppose to tell her that he was a mythological creature that protected humans against another mythological creature? I don't think i would have believed Jacob if i hadn't already known about the whole Vampire thing. I guess he was right, but so was i damn it!

"Okay i get your point, but what are you going to do, you have to tell her."

"Well that is where i was hoping that you could help me with that." His eyes were locked on the floor.

"Paul i am not going to tell her that you are a freaking wolf, you idiot! She'll thing I'm crazy!"

He rolled his eyes "No Bella you don't have to tell her...and i think she already knows your crazy. But i was hoping..." He ran his huge hands through his hair. "that maybe you and Kara could be friends, so that when she does find out she can have someone to come to. Because i mean she doesn't have anybody else."

"What do you mean she doesn't have anybody?" I asked

"She lives by herself and she has no family. She doesn't even have any friends. I'm the only thing she's got." He leaned forward and looked into the living room where she was sitting. satisfied he leaned back.

"Of course i will be her friend Paul. I wish you would tell her first though." He shook his head intently.

"Fine." I agreed.

Paul immediately hopped off the counter and bounded into the living room. I followed quietly behind him. It was sweet to see this side of Paul. It was like someone had sucked the violent old Paul out and replaced it with a gentle giant. Paul jumped on to the couch, and wrapped his arms around Kara. She snuggled her head into his chest. It was like they hadn't seen each other for days.

I figured i should give them some alone time. I tiptoed out of the living room into the kitchen. I grabbed the phone and called Emily. She was going to be so excited!

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_Took me FOREVER to get this written up! I mean Jeez! It was a chapter that i didn't fully write and i didn't know if i was going to add it or not, but i did and i hope you liked it! next chapter is going to be soooo much better! _

_PLEASE REVIEW! the more reviews i get the more i think you guys like it so the more i write! If i don't get any then i won't write it! _

_Love you guys! _

_thanks  
_


	5. Chapter 4: Hysteria

_This is good! I can't wait till you read this... I think it is my best chapter yet!!!! Review! _

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Chapter 3

Hysteria

"Thanks Emily for taking the boys." I said as the boys trampled into the house.

"Its no trouble at all, you go and enjoy your alone time."

I waved goodbye to the boys as I backed out of the driveway. I really didn't know what I was going to do today, I guess today would be a relaxing day, I needed one of those. I ended up sitting on the beach watching the waves roll in and out. I understood the waves, they couldn't make up their mind, did they want to come in and be grounded in the soil, or be out in the ocean and free? Did they want to feel safe, or loved? I got up from the spot where I sat. I could not be here anymore. I knew where I wanted to go, but could I get there without anyone knowing?

I got in my truck and drove. I didn't know if could really remember how to get to their house. It seemed like a blink of an eye and I was there. I realized that as I sat outside their house, I placed my hand on the door handle. I must have sat there for a solid hour as I wared with myself, I starred at the beautiful white house, its inside I knew so well. Finally I got out of the truck, it wouldn't hurt to look around. I looked through the glass, the house inside was bare, dust gathered at the windowsill. Tears welled up in my eyes. I wiped them away furiously. No one was home, I knew they wouldn't be, but I hoped.

Why was I getting so upset?

I looked at the door, I wanted to walk inside their house, to see if they had left anything behind. In my head I knew it would be locked, why would they leave their house open for intruders? My body and my mind were on totally different frequencies. My hand reached for the doorknob, I realized that my hand was shaking. I placed my hand on the knob a chill flowed down my spine. I gently twisted the knob. To my great surprise it turned and the door opened without a sound. I stood outside in shock for awhile. Why would they leave their door open, although I didn't think that they had to worry about intruders harming them.

I laughed.

Laughter bubbled past my lips, hysteria moments away. Burning tears threatened to fall past my eyes. I fell to my knees as I doubled over in pain from laughing so hard, soon laughter turned to sobs. My body rocked so hard from sobbing that I fell to the ground in a heap. I wrapped my arms around my knees tightly. I let the darkness take over, soon I felt nothing and I fell into nothingness. When I woke from the darkness, I looked around the living room, it looked the same except that it was covered in a thin layer of dust. The staircase that was so beautiful, now covered with dirt and grime looked spooky instead of beautiful. I decided to look upstairs, I made a promise to myself that I wasn't going to go into _his_ room. I slowly walked up the stairs, my shoes leaving their marks in the dust. The first place I went to was Carlisle's office. I was shocked by what I saw, nothing. The beautiful pictures that once covered the walls were gone. The beautiful room where Carlisle spent most of his time was gone, instead now it was an empty shell of a room. The walls were painted an off-white color, and the hardwood floors a deep brown, now covered with dust. The sun shown through the high window creating a ghostly haze. I walked past _his _room, I became curious...well maybe just one peek, I knew what I was going to find. I slowly opened the door. I knew it was coming but that didn't mean that I wouldn't have the same reaction.

Everything was gone, the wall of Cd's were gone. I gasped at the empty bookcases. The walls were slightly discolored from the books. The couch was gone, nothing was left behind except the dust. Everything had stayed the same. Just like them, i laughed. I had to admit it was kind of funny. I looked around the room and stopped.  
Oh my God!

In the same place it had always been, was the bed that he had bought for me. My head spun, why would he leave the bed here? My mind was telling me not to, but suddenly I didn't want to listen to my head, my heart told me what to do. I slowly walked towards the bed maybe, just maybe if I could get this out of my system, Then I could go back to my life with Jacob. I curled up under the covers. I could almost see him, I imagined him laying there just watching me sleep. How many precious moments had I wasted with my eyes closed. I promised myself that I would never let that happen again. If I ever saw him again I would never take my eyes off of him.

For years I had tried to convince myself that what I had done was the right thing to do. I always knew that he would never change me. I would have never been able to truly be with him. If I could not be with him forever what was the point in being with him? I would have grown old while he stayed young, eventually I would have lost my sight, my hearing, and at last my memory. I could not stand the thought of not remembering. I would rather go through the pain that I was now, than never being able to remember him. I would always remember how much the hurt in his eyes had torn me up inside.

Little by little I had taken steps to make my life better without him, but my life wasn't better. All those steps that i had taken left me in the same place.

I still missed him. I still loved him. But now at least i knew that he was never coming back, his beauty would never torture me. I would never have to second guess myself on the decision that i made five years ago. I got up from the bed, almost in a trance. I walked out of his bedroom, and out of the house. I walked around the property, I walked to the lake. it was oblong in shape and at the opposite end was a majestic waterfall, it flowed from somewhere up in the mountains to this lake. I loved this lake the sound of the waterfall had always soothed me. I sat on a big rock i dipped my feet into the cool stream letting the water flow over my feet. I watched my reflection in the rippled water. It was quite soothing. That was when I heard it, the most beautiful voice in the world

"Bella."

it sounded almost like a whisper in the wind. I looked around frantically searching for the magnificent being that said my name. The green woods that surrounded me seemed suddenly claustrophobic, I couldn't breath. I looked around and then I heard a splash, I turned to the water and saw something white streak out of the clearing. That couldn't be...no it wasn't...

"Edward." the name slipped between my lips before I could stop it, pain crashed into me like a train.  
No no no. It wasn't him...It couldn't be. Could it?  
before i could stop myself, i was running toward the area where the voice had come from. the problem was i had to go over the small moss covered lip that went through the waterfall to get to the spot where i had heard his voice. I looked at the waterfall, water crashed down onto the calm lake fiercely. I tested the ledge slowly putting pressure until i was fully standing on the lip. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. I slowly made my way toward the waterfall. i couldn't believe i hadn't tripped yet, I later realized i had said that too early. Suddenly i lost my footing, and i was falling.  
Crap, crap, crap!  
My hand grasped the rock wall, searching for something to save myself with. I found a hand hold and held on for dear life. I opened my eyes my body was pressed tightly against the wall in desperation. My knees were shaking so bad i could barely stand. I took a deep breath and took another step, then another, and another. I could hear the roar of the waterfall in my ear. This part was going to be tricky. I was going to go behind the waterfall in order to get to the other side of the embankment, It didn't look like there was enough room. One thing was definitely going to get wet. I ducked my head as the water hit me. I clung to the rock wall, as I slowly pushed through the water. I had not expected the force of the water to be so forceful, it felt like someone had thrown a ton of bricks at my head. I desperately clawed at the rock, but i ended up grabbing a hand full of moss. I fell backward into the freezing cold water.

Unlike last time, i wasn't ready to give up so easily. I had something worth living for, my boys. I clawed at the water overhead. The water was so murky i could not see anything. the sun was a green blob under the water. My lungs burned, i took an involuntary breath, water rushed into my lungs. I knew that this was it. I was going to die.  
No!  
This was not the time to give up. This was the time to fight. I clawed at the water, darkness clouded my vision. Soon i was drifting through unconsciousness.

* * *

Water burst out of my lungs. I coughed as the water came up. I struggled to catch my breath.I was cold, and wet. darkness still covered my eyes, i couldn't see anything. Suddenly i remembered being in the water. How did i get out? Then i remembered why i was trying to get to the other side of the waterfall. I heard his voice. I touched the grass, it was still wet from where my body being set on the ground.

"Edward?" i heard an intake of breath. He was here, right now, next to me. I reached out hesitantly. I gasped as my hand touched something or someone cold, hard and smooth as marble. the darkness of my eyes lifted somewhat. But the veil of darkness still covered my eyes. I could see the fuzzy outline of the sun. I could just make out the outline of his face. His beautiful sparkling face. The wind hit my face, i closed my eyes, when i opened them again, he was gone. like a memory. I heard a distant cry in the wind

"Goodbye."

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_I am soo mean!!! But you love it! :) _

_Due to the Reviews or lack thereof I am very sad! If this chapter does not get some reviews...One all i am asking for is one...one REVIEW!!! or more if you like _

_thankyou for reading_

_:)  
_


	6. Chapter 5: Bad Day

_I know it has taken me forever to update...but i am on spring break in Cincinnati. I haven't had Internet access.... I know i am making excuses _

**Edward: Why am I here? **

_Me: to tell everyone that you belong to me!_

**Edward: that is not going to happen.**

_Me: But Edward why? *grabs his shirt* WHY!?!?_

**Edward: You know sometimes you can be a little scary. *picks my hands off his shirt*  
Goodbye Lauren. *walks away*  
**

_Me: OH MY GOD...HE USED MY NAME...MY NAME!!!!!!!!!!! *cries*_

_

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_

Chapter 5

Bad Day

When I pulled up into the drive it was raining. I noticed Jacobs car in the garage. I wondered why he was home early? I watched as Caleb, and Charlie ran out into the rain, towards the woods. I guess Jacob picked them up from Emily's. I slammed the car door, I let the rain soak my already damp hair. I really could care less if it was raining, it wasn't like i wasn't already wet from almost drowning.

I had decided that i was going to pretend that nothing happened. I never saw him. He was just a dream. My heart broke in half, i wanted to be with him so badly. But i loved Jacob with my all of my heart, I had a life and happiness with him. It wasn't the same, and i knew that. I knew my life would have been infinitively better if i was with him. I had chosen this life and dammit i was going to stick with it. I slowly walked up the stairs, something was wrong, I could feel it. I didn't know what it was, but I had a feeling it was going to be bad. I walked into the dining room, to find Jacob sitting at the dining room table. He was hunched over the table, his hands wrapped tightly around a coffee mug, he was just starring into space.

"Jacob." I whispered.

He lifted his eyes to meet mine, there was no emotion in them. It was like he was looking past me. This man in front of me was a ghost of the man that I had learned to love so long ago.

"Hey Bella." He whispered dully. He turned back to his coffee.

I walked over to the table, and sat down next to him. He ran his huge hand into his damp hair.

"So you picked the boys up from Emily's?" I just wanted him to talk to me. I had seen this type of thing once before. That was about five years ago, that was before _he_ left me. My chest started to ache. It was happening to me again. I grabbed his face between my hands.

"Whats wrong Jake, what happened?"

He tore his face away. "Nothing, nothing happened." He smiled "Just having a bad day that's all." I knew that he was lying to me, it was written all over his face. Suddenly his lips were a breath away from mine. "I love you Bells, you know that right? I would never do anything to hurt you." His eyes were intense with passion.

I sucked in a breath of air "I love you too Jake." My mind flew to this afternoon at the Cullen's house. He would never do anything to hurt me, but would i ever hurt him? No i decided, I could never do that to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him fiercely. for a moment, just a moment, i felt him relax. The next thing i knew my feet were off the ground He had stood up, he reached up to release my hands from his neck. I let go immediately.

"I uhhh have to go check on the boys...don't want them to get hurt or anything." He ran out of the house.

"Sure, sure." I replied to the empty room.

I grabbed his coffee cup absentmindedly as I walked into the kitchen I fought with myself, trying to find the possible reason for his behavior. Maybe something happened at the shop today, someone said something that upset him. No, that wasn't it he would have been yelling at random things, he would be angry not this... whatever he was. Maybe his father was sick, Billy had been having spouts of bad health for about three years. No, he would have told me if he was sick again. Maybe he really was having a bad day. Yes that was the only thing it could be.I had just finished drying the coffee cup, when i heard a knock on the door. I opened the door to find Kara. The look on her face said it all.  
Paul had told her.  
She stood in front of me, with her fist was held up as if she were going to knock on the door again. Emotions flashed in front of her eyes anger, hurt, sadness, and confusion. She wore only a robe which was now soaked through and through just like the rest of her. She looked like she had been stumbling in the rain for hours, her hair which was usually spiked, was full of knots which were matted down against her head with water.  
"Kara, what happened?" i gasped  
She didn't speak just walked in a sat down on the couch. She ran a shaky hand through her hair. "He told me." she said very calmly, it was too calm. I started to think that maybe she was in shock.

"Wha..." the phone rang "Excuse me Kara, i need to get this. " I said as i looked at the caller ID it was Paul.

"Hello." i answered the phone

"Is she there? Answer yes or no, and don't let her know it's me." He sounded nervous.

"Yes. Did she leave the dog there this morning?" I hinted.

"Yeah it happened this morning, I've been keeping an eye on her. I knew she would end up at your place."

"Ohhhh...and how did that go?" I laughed loudly just for good measure.

"I thought it was the perfect moment Bella, i mean we had just had breakfast and we were on the couch and...I don't know it just seemed like the perfect time to tell her."

"How did that work out for you, not so good huh?"

"No, she called me a monster and ran away." He said sadly.

"I'll take care of it." I whispered.

I walked back into the living room. Kara's eyes were red and puffy. She had been crying. "That was him wasn't him."

"why don't you tell me what happened?"

"He told me about...his...ability. How he could transform into a coyote, or something..." she sucked in a breath. "Then he dragged me outside in the rain and showed me...it was awful Bella I didn't know what to do!" tears ran down her face. I patted her shoulder kindly. "Then he told me...t-that h-h-he l-l-lov-v-ed me." the poor thing couldn't even finish her sentence. "What. Am. I. Going. To. DO?" Her head was in her hands. She sobbed louder. "How am i supposed t-to h-handle that?"

"Tell him how you feel, you do love him don't you?" I replied softly. She looked up suddenly. Her eyes were full of bewilderment.

"You know about t-this? I don't understand?!" suddenly she looked wary. "Your one of them too aren't you?" She slowly got up from the couch. Her eyes watching me.

"No," i replied calmly. She backed away from me. "Please Kara, you need to understand..."

"I DON'T WANT TO UNDERSTAND!" She screamed. Tears streamed down her cheeks. "THE ONLY MAN THAT I HAVE EVER LOVED IS A MONSTER!" Her voice broke.

"Kara, he hasn't changed. Paul is still the man that you love, don't you see? He did want to tell you because he knew that you would react like this. He didn't want to scare you. It is not his choice to be a werewolf," She flinched. "He just wants to live a normal life, with you. He loves you Kara, he would do anything for you."

Just then Jacob walked in. He looked at me, then at Kara. "What's going on...Bella...Kara?"He slowly walked towards me and put his arm around my waist.

"Is he one of them?" she pointed an angry finger at Jacob.

"One of who? Bella where is Paul?" He threw me a confused look.

"Jacob she knows." I whispered, trying not to scare Kara, but she heard me.

"Oh my God. You are one of them aren't you? No no no! This can not be happening to me!"

"Kara why don't we talk about this calmly. Please we don't want to make a scene." Jacob said trying to soothe her.

"Lets get you into a clean shirt and I'll make you some nice soup and we can talk about this." I said calmly, Jacob nodded in agreement.

"No! I DON'T WANT FREAKING SOUP! I DON'T WANT TO GET DRESSED! DON'T TOUCH ME!" She screamed at me as i walked over to show her to the bathroom.

Suddenly Jacob was behind her. He grabbed her around the waist, pinning her arms down at her side. She screamed as she kicked wildly.

"Jacob! Put her down! I was handling it!" I yelled over her screaming.

"She is not going to calm down Bella can't you see that?" He turned his attention to the screaming girl in his arms. "Kara, I will let you go if you promise to calm down, okay?" Her screaming stopped, her head fell forward, soft sobs replaced the screams. Jacob's face fell, he slowly walked past me to our bedroom. I followed silently behind him. He gently set her on the bed. He turned to me. "Get her dressed, I'll get Paul." I nodded. He walked around me, his eyes on the floor.

* * *

Kara was dressed in one of my shirts, Her hair pulled back into a low ponytail. She sat in front of me, her eyes were on the soup in front of her. She hadn't said a word since Jacob left "Its not so bad. Living with a Werewolf...Just different." I said trying to reassure her. She nodded slowly.

Jacob walked through the door. He was followed by a very depressed looking Paul.

"Hi Kara...Bella." Paul said nervously. At the sound of her name Kara looked up. She starred at him, tears hung in her eyes.

"Paul." she whispered. He was at her side immediately. She looked up at him then said. "I'm sorry for running off like that, but you have to understand...I was so scared," He looked away. "Not because you are...a...werewolf. But because you are the only person i really care about, and i just don't want you to...leave me." She stared at the floor.

He gently kissed her forehead. "I will never leave you." He pulled her face up, so her eyes met his. "You need to know that. Just because I'm...a mythical creature doesn't mean that i can't love you. That we can't be happy together. I will always be there to protect you." He kissed her gently, I looked at Jacob. He was starring at me. I knew that i wasn't making him happy. He didn't have my whole self, he may have my heart, but Edward had my soul. I looked away ashamed at that thought.

Later on that night both Paul and Kara left together, their relationship mended. Kara understood that there were things that were going to change in their relationship, but most things were going to be the same. After they left i took a shower. The water ran over my aching bones, soothing them gently. That was when it all hit me. Edward had been there in the forest...with me. He had saved me...again. He had he saved me, but why? He had felt sorry for me. I had to admit i must have looked pretty pathetic, following a voice across a slippery ledge...I must have looked insane. But why did he save me? He loved me. My knees gave out. I fell and hit my arm on the side of the tub. I sat on my haunches, and cried, sobbed actually. He loved me, he loved me. "He loves me." I said it over and over again. I shivered as the hot water streamed down my back.

I heard the door open. "Bella? Look we need to talk...Bella" The shower door opened. "My God Bella!" I looked up at Jacob, the look in his eyes was of pure bewilderment. He stepped into the shower with me, then picked me up off the shower floor.  
"He loves me." I muttered again.  
He misunderstood "Of course i love you Bells." He hugged me tightly. His hands smoothed my wet hair. "calm down Bells, every things going to be okay. Shush, baby don't cry."  
I grabbed on to his shirt and held on for dear life. I shook, i was sobbing so hard. Life was so cruel; this wonderful man right in front of me, i could not give him what he deserved; my heart. I was such a horrible person.  
"Oh Jacob, I don't deserve you." I cried, He grabbed my chin and gently turned my face to his.  
"Your wrong." He Kissed me, gentle and sweet, but scary. He had never kissed me like this. It was like he was saying goodbye.

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_Took me FOREVER to write this chapter... It has tons of mistakes in it... _

_Please REVIEW!!! i am working on the next chapter now... _

_Thanks :)  
_


	7. Chapter 6: Cookies

_YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME!!!!! HAVE I TOLD YOU THAT LATELY?! I love reviews!!!_

_Okay if you hated Jacob before this chapter...be prepared to hate him even more....This is such a good chapter!!!!_

**Jacob: why are people _going_**** to hate me?? Wait why do they hate me in the first place?**

_Me: Awww I don't hate you Jacob! I love you! And you will see!  
_

**Jacob: creepy.**

_Me: Whatever! You belong to me!! *cue creepy music*_

**Jacob: Super creepy! I belong to Stephenie Meyer! **

Emmett: I LOVE COOKIES!

_**Both: SHUT UP EMMETT!!!**_

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Chapter 6

Cookies

Weeks went by and i still could not understand what was going on with Jacob. He wasn't acting any better, if anything it was getting worse.  
I mean a lot worse.

Early one morning I had enough. I had sent the boys off to Emily's so that i could have a serious talk with Jacob. He sat across from me, he was bent over the table, reading the morning paper. I couldn't take it anymore I smacked my hand on the table, hard.

He looked up duly. "Did you want something Isabella"

I shuttered, yes things had gotten much worse. "Its Bella Jake, I hate being called Isabella."

"Sorry, I forgot." he mumbled

"How could you forget," I hissed, "We've been engaged for five years!" I started yelling.

"I don't know Bella, okay i just forgot." He said dully.

"I am so sick of this, Jacob. What is wrong with you? Ever since I came back from the Cullen's house, you have been acting so weird!" I realized too late what had come out of my mouth.I snapped it shut. His eyes sparked with anger.

"You. Went. To. The. Cullen's. House?!" He stood up, he was shaking slightly.

"What do you care?! You don't even talk to me anymore! Its like I'm not even there! What is going on?" I screamed getting out of my seat. My hands itched, I wanted...no needed to slap him. But i didn't, I kept my arms pinned to my side, my hands balled into fists.

"What do I care? Bella I love you, I happen to care a lot!" He yelled at me grabbing my face in his huge hands. I twisted out of his grasp, I took two steps away from him. I gently wrapped my arms around my waist.

"Really? Well you have a funny way of showing it! Since when is ignoring your fiancée, showing her how much you love her?!" I whispered fiercely.

"Bella the only reason we are not married is because you don't _want_ to marry me! And i am so not ignoring you!" His arms crossed over his chest.

"Th-that is sooo not fair!" I stuttered "You knew I didn't want to get married...Its not my fault you proposed!" I turned away from him. "And yes you are ignoring me." I added after a second.

"Is this," He turned me around to face him. "ignoring you?" He pulled me toward him, his lips crushed down on mine. I became very still, i did not move. His lips moved in a lone dance. But he wasn't taking any of that. He shoved my lips apart, to ravish my mouth. I bit down, hard. I heard him yelp in surprise. Before he could shove me away i tasted blood. He pushed me away like i was some kind of disease.

I fell on my butt, involuntarily let out a "Ooof!"

"What the HELL!" He screamed, i looked at him. His teeth were stained red from the blood, the look in his eyes was pure anger. For the first time in my whole life i was scared of him. Truly frightened. He took two steps towards me. I shuttered away. He stopped, sucking in a breath. "I broke my promise again Bells, sorry." He whispered, looking down at the floor.

I glared at him. I had never felt this kind of anger before, every fiber of my being hated him right here, right now.

"Sorry is not good enough Jacob. Sorry doesn't solve the problem. It doesn't fix us!" I hissed.

"I know it doesn't fix anything, but its the best that i can do." He muttered, still looking at the floor.

"You are lying! You know that there is more that you could do! But you won't, and i can't understand why? Why, Jacob? Don't you see how much this is hurting me, the kids...us." I whispered as tears rolled down my cheeks, traitor tears! I whipped them away with the back of my hand.

"I don't want to talk about this Bella... I got to go. I guess i will see you after work." He walked out the front door. I let the tears flow freely down my face. I picked up the phone, my shaky hand dialed the numbers that i was beginning to know so well.

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"Why are we making cookies again?" Kara asked as she poured a cup of chocolate chips into the mixing bowl. It was in the middle of the afternoon and i had calmed down since our argument. I had realized the mistake that i had made. I was a horrible person for saying those things to him. The way i felt, how much hatred that had engulfed me. I shivered. How could i have said those things? Sure he was acting weird, but that was no excuse for my actions. I had called Kara over to calm me down. She had done just that.

_flashback :)_

_The front door opened, the cold air hit my face, i shivered. _

_"Bella?" Kara whispered as she bent down to my level. I had not moved since the argument. "My God Bella, what happened?" I couldn't speak, i just sobbed into her arms. "Shush, sweetie...Whatever it is, it will be okay." _

_I told her what had happened, every detail. She silently listened, not saying a word until i had stopped talking. She said Three words "What a Bastard!" I let out a choked laugh. She went to the kitchen and came back with two shot glasses and a bottle of tequila. Kara poured the two glasses and handed one to me._

_ I shook my head. She rolled her eyes."Bella the man just ripped your heart out, tore it to little pieces, and set them on fire. The least you could do is numb the pain." She shoved the drink into my hand. I nodded. I watched as Kara threw back hers. I followed her lead, cringing a little as it burned my throat. _

"We are making cookies for Jacob; I'm going to apologize." I said as i sipped my coffee. The timer went off. I took the cookies out of the oven. The mixer stopped. I looked at Kara. She glared at me.

"Are you telling me that you are going to forgive him? Bella he broke your heart!"

"Its not the first time my heart has been broken." I whispered. I focused intently on the cookies that i was taking off the cookie sheet. After i had placed the last cookie on the cooling rack i looked back at her. Kara was starring at the ceiling. I pushed past her to get the chocolate chip cookie batter. I dipped the spoon in the bowl, retrieving a generous amount of dough, then i placed it on the cookie sheet.

"So your just going to forgive him? You're not angry at him? How can you do that? If Paul did that to me I...I don't know what i would do." She shuttered. I placed the cookies in the oven, leaning up against it as i turned to face her.

"That's what you do when you love someone, Kara. You forgive them, even when they do something unforgivable." I said firmly.

"I don't know if i could do that...I mean i love Paul, with everything in me...but..."

"You'll find that you can do amazing things when you're put into the situation. Even things you thought you would never do." I whispered.

My mind wandered. Would my life had been any different if i had stayed with Edward? My heart wrenched. Yes, i would have been happy. Edward would never do something like this to me. But would it be the same? My boys. I would never give them up for the world. Never. If i could go back and change my life, i wouldn't change a thing. The happiness that they brought me... I would have never had that with Edward. I never realized how much i wanted to be a mother, until i was one.

I shook my head. "Well i guess i am going to take these to the guys at the W.G.G.(Wolf Gang Garage). Do you want to come with me?" I asked as i took the last cookies on a plate and covered it with saran wrap.

"Hell yes i want to come!" I glared at her, "Sorry, But i want to see the guilt on his face."

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The sign out front read "The Wolf Gang Garage" Sam had decided that the pack needed a place where they could discuss proper business, without us girls to ruin all the fun. And what better job than fixing cars...something they all loved to do? So the whole gang worked here, or at least came here on a daily basis. By the looks of the trucks here, they were having a meeting. Good; everyone could eat and enjoy my cookies.

Kara pulled into the back parking lot and put the truck in park. "Are you ready for this?" She asked.

I nodded, "As ready as I'll ever be." I gave her a weak smile.

I wanted to surprise him, I was going to tell him how sorry i was. I was going to take back all the things that i had said. When i opened the door loud noise greeted me, i saw Paul welding some parts together, he waved at us. Seth was talking to a customer on the phone, shaking his head back and fourth. I could see Sam upstairs talking on a cellphone, probably to Emily; he looked over the railing and waved. I looked around the shop for Jacob, I finally found him near the front of the shop next to a old beat up blue truck. What i saw next took my breath away. I closed my eyes, behind me i heard Kara gasp. Jacob was leaning up against the blue truck, his foot propped up against it. A manicured hand rested on his leg, her other hand rested on his chest. She was leaning in... her body mere inches away from his. The way she looked at him, it brought shivers down my spine. Her eyes sparkled like he had just told the funniest joke in the world. He was gazing at her with the same intensity, then he threw his head back; a bellowing laughter filled the shop.

Kara grabbed my arm, i felt sick. I covered my mouth with my free hand. It was all a misunderstanding, i convinced myself. It wasn't what it seemed like. My hands were shaking, I dropped the plate of cookies that i was holding. The shop grew silent. Seth dropped the phone and Paul started walking towards us. A strangled scream escaped my lips. Jacob looked over at me. His eyes still holding a hint of laughter, the laughter died in his eyes as soon as he realized what he was seeing. My knees were shaking so hard it was a wonder i was still standing. I sank down to the ground. Kara however was fuming. The young woman backed away slowly, her eyes uncertain. Seth opened the front door for her, and she was gone.

"You are the most disgusting man i have ever laid my eyes on!" Kara screamed. Paul grabbed her arm, holding her back from Jacob.  
"NO! DON'T TOUCH ME!" He raised his hands up in the air in surrender, she pushed past him.  
"YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN JUST BREAK BELLA'S HEART AND THEN WALK AWAY! NO!" Jacob paid her no attention, he just starred at me. Tears fell down my face. My heart broke in half. I didn't understand what i had done wrong. I was willing to do anythinKarag to get him back. I gave him a pleading look.

Sam jumped down the stairs and was standing in front of me protectively. I leaned around him to get a better view.

"You're wrong Kara." Jacob said calmly, shaking his head. "I was the one who put her back together." His eyes intensified.

"SO YOU THINK YOU OWN HER NOW! JUST BECAUSE YOU PLAYED HUMPTY DUMPTY..." She poked him in the chest.

"No I don't. Stop talking about things you know nothing about, Paul..." Jacob pushed her away from him, she spun into Paul's arms. He held her firmly in his arms, trying to keep her from escaping. Jacob shoved Sam out of the way. He gently picked me up in his arms. I wanted to push him away, but my arms wouldn't obey, they wrapped around his neck. He slammed the back door open, and walked out into the cold rain.

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_Broke my heart to write this...I need chocolate! _

_Please REVIEW! I love to hear what you have to say! As you can see i update faster if you review_

Emmett: I'll give you my cookie!

_Me: Jeez Em your not even in the story yet and you are already taking over!_


	8. Chapter 7: I Hate You

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BEX4

OME!  
this is so good!  
aww i dont want jacob to have imprinted!  
why didnt bella just marry him!  
i hope she walked in on something that looked wrong, and wasnt meant to be how she saw it  
hes such a good dad and everything

_Thanks for the review BEX4! I really appreciate what you said. Just to answer a few of your questions._

_1) I am sorry to report that Jacob has in fact imprinted._

_2) Bella did not marry Jacob, because she is Bella... She didn't want to be that girl, even though she is._

_3) No, it was exactly as it was meant to be._

_4) I KNOW RIGHT!_

_This chapter is depressing. Sorry but i felt like he needed to give a reason for what he did. _

_good news though...read and see if you can figure it out! Love you guys :) you are awesome!_

**Alice: Why am i not in the story yet?!? Do i get to go shopping?!? pleasepleasepleaseplease?!**

_Me: You will be in the story and YES!*cue hallelujah music* YOU WILL GET TO GO SHOPPING!_

**Alice: What do i get to go shopping for? huh?huh?huh?**

_Me: You won't get it out of me Alice. I'm not telling! so Ha!_

Edward:*Whispers in Alice's ear.*

**Alice: What?! I get to go shopping for that? YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*Jumps around* **

_Me: Hey! NO FAIR! Stupid mind reading vampires! *stomps off*_

Emmett: HEY HEY! Human girl do you want to arm wrestle? 

**_All: SHUT __UP EMMETT!_**

Emmett: Okay okay, shesh!

* * *

Chapter 7

I Hate You

The rain soaked through my shirt. Jacob silently placed me in the truck. I watched him walk around to the other side, He slid into the truck. He sat with his hands on the steering wheel, starring straight ahead for what seemed like forever. Finally he whispered, "I swear to God Bella it wasn't what it looked like." He starred blankly ahead, he looked sick. I wanted to comfort him, but my mind was raging. How could this happen? Jacob was cheating on me? Were there signs that I missed? What did I do to deserve this? I wanted to do anything to get him back, I just wanted to make it right by him.

"Tell me what I just saw in there, Jacob." I whispered brokenly.

I just wanted things to go back to the way things were, how they used to be. Images flashed through my mind.

Jacob holding Charlie and Caleb for the first time, a huge goofy smile plastered on his face.  
Jacob leaning over the crib, looking so tired, but completely, and utterly happy at the same time.  
Jacob running in the kitchen, yelling like a madman because Caleb just said his first word, Dada.  
Jacob wrapping his arms around me as we watched the boys play.

Tears formed in my eyes. I felt a huge finger wipe away the tear that was rolling down my face.

"Don't cry Bella, please." I looked up to find him starring at me intently.

It just made me cry even more. Jacob pulled away from W.G.G. He drove slower than usual. By the time we got home I had calmed down enough that I could think clearly. I had questions that needed answering and I wasn't leaving until I got them. Jacob carried me up the stairs, and into the living room. The boys were still at Emily's so we wouldn't have to worry about scaring them. He sat down next to me on the couch, his head in his hands.

I was going to tell you Bella..I swear. But I just...I don't know what is happening to me." he muttered almost to himself.

" Just tell me what is going on. Who was that...girl?" The image of her and him popped into my head. I shook my head to clear it.

"God Bella you are never going to forgive me. I am a horrible person. Please you have to understand, I never meant for this to happen..."

"For what to happen Jacob...I don't understand, are you cheating on me? Is that it? Because Jacob we can talk that out. We can work through this." He looked disgusted,

"So this would be easier for you if I had cheated on you? Is that what you want me to say Bella. I cheated on you? Because I have never touched a woman other than you, ever." He stood up, running his hand through his hair.

"Then what was that?" I yelled as I pointed toward the door. "Jacob! I saw you with my own eyes. Don't try to deny it!" I stood up.

"I'm not denying anything Bella...I just..." he yelled back

I was crying now, "Please. Tell me what you are saying then."

"I'm saying that I...Just forget it okay. It was nothing alright. She was an old girlfriend. Thats all." He turned away from me. He started walking away.

"Jacob." I whispered as I grabbed his hand.

"No, Bella. I don't want to talk about it." He gently pulled his hand out of mine.

I wrapped my hands around my waist, trying to keep my heart from exploding.

"You never want to talk anymore, Jacob. Thats all you ever tell me, we used to talk all the time. I don't understand, did I do something wrong?" I choked back the tears that were forming behind my lids. I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. He started walking.

"No you did nothing wrong." He muttered as he walked out of the house. I was losing him.

"Jacob," I called as I ran out the front door. I was not going to lose him like this. We were going to talk about this like adults. I saw his figure step into the forest.

"Jacob, stop!" I screamed, as I came to a halt in front at the edge of the forest. The bush was so thick I couldn't see five feet in front of me. I considered going back and waiting for him, but that was not going to solve anything. I pushed through the thick wet branches, the rain had stopped, for now. As I stumbled through the damp forest I called his name.

"Jacob, look lets talk about this please." I pushed back a branch and moved forward, as I let it go it swung back and hit my arm. I stumbled and fell forward, my foot catching on a mossy stone. I was falling, I instinctively stretched out my arms to catch my fall. I let out a cry as I landed in a throne bush. I laid there as pain shot up my arm. I looked down, deep gashes ran down the side of my arm, I sucked in a breath as I saw the blood. It was everywhere, it filled my senses, the smell made me sick. I looked away.

"Jacob," I sobbed. I slowly got up from the ground. Tears rolled down my face, I walked more slowly as the tears blurred my vision. I could see that the bush was starting to thin out. I noticed a large russet wolf laying peacefully in the grass ten feet away. He was starring at me. I sat down as my knees gave out from under me, I leaned against a tree, letting my head fall against the tree. closed my eyes. Sobs rocked my body as I let everything soak in.

Jacob's behavior over the past few weeks.

That day he had come home upset.

The way he had looked at that girl...I gasped.

I looked up at him in realization, how could i not have seen that? His eyes looked tormented, like he understood what i was thinking. That could only mean one thing.  
I was right.  
He had imprinted.

He slowly started walking towards me. Suddenly i was angry. How could he do this to me! We had made a life together, we had a family. Suddenly everything had changed because of one girl. He was falling in love with another woman! Anger shot through my veins. How dare he! I hated him, with every part of my being. He had told me that he loved me. We had started a life together. He promised that he would never hurt me. He would never leave me.  
He had lied.  
Part of me knew that Jacob falling in love was involuntary, but I didn't care! I told myself. He chose to act, to stand there and let her put her hands all over him. I could feel my breath coming out in huffs.

"Don't you touch me!" I screamed as he stepped forward. He stopped, emotions flashed through his eyes, anger, hate, sadness, sympathy. Finally sadness filled his eyes. He started forward again.

"I HATE YOU!" I screamed at him. "I NEVER LOVED YOU!" Pain shot through me like a bolt of lightning. He flinched like he had been slapped in the face, but didn't stop. I had to stop him, he was not going to lay one finger on me ever again.

"I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED HIM! OH I TRIED TO PRETEND THAT YOU WERE THE ONE THAT I WANTED...BUT THAT WAS NEVER TRUE!!" He stopped dead in his tracks, the hairs on the back of his neck were sticking up. Tears streamed down my cheeks, i whipped them away furiously.

"FOR FIVE YEARS I HAVE TRIED TO PRETEND THAT YOU WERE THE ONE THAT I WANTED...BUT I AM DONE PRETENDING! JACOB! I WANT TO BE HAPPY." I shrieked He growled deep in his throat, his lips pulled back to reveal his sharp teeth.

"DON'T YOU GROWL AT ME!" My voice broke.

"I deserve better than this...I hate you!" I whispered brokenly. I cried into my hands. I felt huge hands pick me up.

"No!" I sobbed, trying to push him away. But it was no use, it was like trying to move a mountain with a shovel

"Leave me alone." I pressed my face into his chest. Suddenly i realized what this meant for me. I was going to be alone...again. the hole in my chest that had been closed by Jacob so long ago, ripped open, with a fury unknown to me. I couldn't breath, my vision went dark. Somewhere in the woods, somebody screamed. A huge hand smoothed my hair, trying to calm me down. I flinched away from his comforting touch. I heard a door open, Jacob was talking to someone in a hushed tone. I was being set down on a soft couch. I felt his hands release me.

"Take care of her, Charlie." Jacob whispered sadly.

Wait did he mean Charlie, as in Charlie, Charlie. No he wouldn't. I opened my eyes,

Yup I thought, he would.

* * *

_So what did ya think??? I would love to hear from you! Any questions you have, or conserns i would be happy to answer. _

_Leave a message after the beep *BEEP* _

_REVIEW_

_thanks :)  
_


	9. Chapter 8: Sick

_REVIEWS WERE AWESOME!!! Thanks for the support guys it means a lot to me!  
This chapter was a hard one to write. I am sorry if you do not like it. Next chapter will be better._

**Emmett: Hey! Human Girl whats up!?**

_Me: Hey Em! Tell everyone how you belong to me._

**Emmett: What?! *Rosalie walks up behind Emmett, and glares at me.***

_Me: Uhhh...Never mind!_

**Emmett:*Holds out his hand* I want a cookie! *Rosalie smacks him upside the head* Ouch! **

_Me: Sorry Em. I don't have any cookies. _

**Emmett: I vant to drrrink vure bloooood! *starts chasing me*  
**

_Me: *runs away screaming* Not the Blood noooooooo!_

* * *

Chapter 8

Sick

I pulled my hair away from my face and hastily put it in a low bun. I bent over the toilet as another dry heave pushed its way up my throat. I heard a knock on the door.

"Bella are you okay? Don't you want some of the breakfast I fixed you?" Charlie asked concerned.

"No thanks dad, I'm not feeling so good. I think I am going to skip breakfast." I managed to mutter before another wave of nausea hit me.

"But you only took one bite." He said disappointed that his one attempt at cooking had failed so miserably.

"It was enough." I whispered, wiping my mouth on a towel before getting up from the bathroom floor. My stomach growled, I placed my hand on my stomach as I turned to face the full length mirror that was on the back of the door. I looked awful, but that fit because I felt awful. I studied myself in the mirror. My hair looked like a rats nest, I hadn't brushed it in days. My eyes were red and puffy, probably because I had not stopped crying in a week. I looked thinner, which on most people would have been a good thing, but not me. I looked gross.

"Bella I have to go to work, call me if you need me. I'll be home for supper." I opened the bathroom door.

"Okay Char-Dad, have a good day. How does home made Enchiladas sound?" his eyes lit up at the mention of food.

"Sounds good Bella, bye." He gave me an awkward one armed hug. He lumbered down the stairs.

"Bye Dad." I replied. I heard the front door open, and then close. I turned back to the bathroom. I undressed quickly and got in the shower. i turned the water as hot as it would go. It burned my skin, but I didn't mind.  
It reminded me of Jacob.  
I gently washed and conditioned my hair. Then I just stood under the steady stream of hot water. I closed my eyes, letting the water run over my tense body. Too soon the water turned cold. I shivered, then turned off the water. I gently wrapped a towel around my self. I walked into my bedroom, finding some big gray sweat pants, and a huge old tee shirt, it was green and said Kiss Me I'm Not Irish on it. I quickly changed, then walked down the stairs to the kitchen. I saw the plate of runny eggs that Charlie had called breakfast. I gaged as it slid into the trash. I noticed the bread sitting out, suddenly I was hungry for peanut butter and jelly. I pulled out the peanut butter, I realized that we had no jelly. I sighed, well it was better than nothing. After I made my peanut butter sandwich, I sat down at the table, that was when I saw the note, it was from Charlie.

Bella,

Jake called last night, he wants to talk to you.  
Please call him back.

Love you

Charlie

I had to call him, to reason with him. to try to convince him to take me back. I was willing to do or give up anything. We were going to talk about this...girl.

I picked up the phone, and dialed the number.

"Who is it?" I would know that voice anywhere, it was Charlie.

"Hey Baby, its mommy. Is daddy there?" there was a loud bang, like the phone had been dropped on the floor.

"Hello, hello. Is someone there?" I breathed, my grip on the phone tightened.

"Mommy is that you?" A little voice answered, it was Caleb.

"Hey sweetie, how are you?" I whispered as tears streamed down my face, God I missed them so much.

"I miss you mommy. When are you coming home?" I could tell he was crying. How was I suppose to tell him that I was never coming back. That his daddy had fallen in love with another woman. I couldn't.

I just couldn't.

"It's okay baby, mommy will be home soon." i whispered.

I heard a low grumble in the background. Then I heard a familiar voice. "Bella?" Jacob's voice sounded rough, like he had been crying.

"Hey, how are the boys?" I asked wiping away the tears on my cheek.

"They are good, listen Bells, we need to talk about what is going to happen now."

"What do you mean?" I asked concerned. I didn't understand, what was going to happen was that I was going home to him and we would live happy ever after.

"I mean that Tina is living with us now and I just want the boys to have a normal life. Well I mean as normal as it can get with a werewolf. I was us to be a family..."

"She's living with you...In our house?" I whispered

"Yea." He muttered

My head spun. That...Woman was living in my house...With my boys. She was tucking them in at night, she was feeding them breakfast in the mornings. No, it wasn't right...I felt sick again.

"Bella?" Jacob sounded concerned. I couldn't hear him. I was too busy trying to hold back the nausea.

"I got to go." I managed before i rushed to the sink, choking up whatever i had left in my stomach. I lifted my head out of the sink, to turn on the water. I grabbed the towel next to the sink and wiped my mouth again. I walked back over to the table and picked up the phone, the _beep beep beep_ of a dead line filled my ears.

So this was how it was going to be? Jacob was living with another woman, the boys were unhappy, and i wanted to die. Pain ripped at my chest, like some beast was clawing its way through what was left of my heart. I sucked in a painful breath. I sat down as the room started to spin.  
What was i going to do now?  
I had nothing to live for, everyone that i ever loved left me eventually. I had nobody. No one was ever going to love me, i was damaged goods. I just wanted to be happy. Sobs erupted out of my mouth. I could not be here another minute. I was suffocating, my chest heaved but no air came into my lungs. I ran out of the house. I didn't even care that it was pouring outside, the rain washed away my tears. I couldn't see where i was going, i missed a step and fell flat on my stomach. I laid my head on the cold wet concrete, it wasn't until i lifted my head from the ground that i saw the puddle of blood on the ground. The sobs hardened. I slowly got up from the ground and stumbled to the truck.

I did not know where i was going, but i wasn't staying here anymore.

I drove faster than what i should have, my old truck groaned in protest. The tears flowed down my cheeks. I was so tired of crying, i wiped away the tears. I wasn't going to cry for Jacob anymore i promised, never again. It was still hard for me to breath. I gasped for air but it didn't help. I pulled over on the road, i just wanted to get out of the truck. I slammed the truck door, I stumbled away from the road, into the forest. It wasn't until i was on a familiar path that i realized where i was going, the meadow. The last place i had ever been truly happy. Suddenly i wanted to see it, remembering the place that i had spent so much time with _Him_. I started walking faster, remembering how it looked that day, beautiful, just like him. I just wanted to see something beautiful again. I stumbled over many roots and branches. I lost all track of time, i just constrained on the path, and where the danger spots were. I stumbled over a root and into a clearing. I looked up, and that was when i saw him.

He was leaning against a tree on the far side of the meadow. He looked like a statue of a god, chiseled out of marble. His bronze hair looked ruffled, windblown. His eyes were concentrated on the ground, the dark purple circles under his eyes stood out the most...making him look- haunted. He was the most beautiful thing i had ever seen. It isn't real i told my self, there was no way that he would be here right now. When i opened my eyes he would be gone...even though i didn't want him to be. I opened them again, this time he was starring at me intently. I stopped breathing. It was just my brain playing tricks on me, he wasn't really there. It was just a bunch of chemicals in my brain telling me he was there. I blinked again, He was suddenly right in front of me, it took all the strength in me not to reach out to him. If this was a chemical doing this to me, i wanted it all the time.

"Bella?" the most beautiful voice in the world said to me.

Yup bottle some of that for me...I would take it. I closed my eyes, letting this moment sink in.

"Bella." I felt cold hands on either side of my face. I opened my eyes. His eyes were the deepest black i had ever seen. I let out a breath.

"Yes?" I whispered, suddenly i was dizzy. Everything around me went black.

* * *

_ohhhh cliffee! Do you want to know what happens next???  
Read the next chapter! _

_REVIEW!  
_

_PS. This is a shout out to by Twilight friend Autumn, OMG he is so SPARKLES!_

_lol thanks :)  
_


	10. Chapter 9: Heartbeat

_Soooooo excited about this chapter....Its in Edwards Point of View! I am a EPV virgin! I was nervous about writing this because...I mean...ITS EDWARD! _

_So enjoy this chapter...i know i enjoyed writing it.:) and heres Emmett _

**Emmett: Everyone loves me! Because I'm awesome! **

_Me: And so modest too._

**Emmett: Hey! Its the human chick! Howya doin'?**

_Me: uhhhh good?..._

**Emmett:Look a purple hippopotamus in a pink too-too! *Points to the sky*  
**

_Me: Where?!?__*Looks around wildly* _

**Emmett: *Runs away***

_Me: Hey! Emmett come back!!!_

* * *

Chapter 9

Heartbeat.

EPOV :) *I know right?!?!*

I ran, just to clear my head. I just could not stand it anymore! I just needed to sort things out. The way I did that was by running...fast. I always knew that someday reality would hit her, and she would run...Truly I wish it were to someone other than into the arms of that pup, Jacob.

It was dangerous, he was not safe. Although who am i to talk, i mean really. A one hundred and thirteen year old vampire, and an eighteen year old human. A human by the way that i thirsted for more than any other human, her blood sang to me.

When she told me that she loved that dog, i didn't know if i would have enough strength to leave her. The last time it was hell, my life had ended when i left the first time. But the second time was much worse. It was the fact that Bella didn't want me, she loved Jacob. The thought made me shiver. After Bella left, i moved away from my family, i went to Africa. To end my life, the only way i knew how. I stopped eating animals, or anything for that matter. That didn't work, i became weak and i almost killed a innocent human that way, now i drank, but only every three months to keep myself on the edge but not over it. I had to think of different ways to end my life...

I was not going back to the Volturi, Aro would just keep me there to be apart of his collection. Since i could not destroy myself, i destroyed everything i loved...or enjoyed. After Bella left that day, i had ripped apart my piano, and every composition i had ever written. I hadn't touched a piano for five years. In fact i had not talked to anyone since i left five years ago, Alice tried to call once a month, i never answered the phone.

I was living in the Southern part of Africa, the bush as the locals called it. I knew that my family was worried about me, Alice especially. When we left Forks, we went our separate ways. Alice and Jasper were living in England. Rose and Emmett were living in one of the hundreds of houses that belonged in the Cullen name. Carlisle and Esme were living with the Deli clan. I could not face my family, not after what i put them through, they had loved Bella as much as i had. Esme had been so happy that i had finally found someone...but then i lost her.

I was content with surviving (I could not call what i was doing living, it was much less than that.) in Africa. But everything i saw reminded me of her. The scent of the Flowering Cherry, was as close as Africa could get to her wonderful smell. The Afrikaans Branches, which were a deep brown color reminded me of her soft wavy hair. Everything reminded me of her! I was lying under the Afrikaans tree, starring up at its branches, when i heard a low growl. I turned my head lazily to see yellow eyes starring back at me. I sat up, as he stalked forward. The male lion was bigger than any i had seen before. He crouched down, ready to spring. I just starred at him, uncaring.

He jumped, launching himself on me, i felt his claws rip my clothes, but it did nothing to my skin. His giant teeth wrapped around my arm, the daggers failing on my diamond hard skin. He tried to rip my arm away, i sighed, finally i had had enough. I growled loudly. The sound was defying. The Lion pulled away, his eyes wild with anger, his ears were flattened against his head. Suddenly my hunting instincts started kicking in. I slowly got up from my sitting position, and stepped into a crouch. The lion took a few steps back, then realizing he was in danger he turned tail and ran in an outright sprint.

Good it was always more fun when they ran.

I dropped the empty carcass, it fell to the ground with a _thump_. I wiped the blood away from my mouth with the back of my hand. I looked back at the dead lion, wondering if it was ironic that i had just destroyed the thing i had compared myself to?

_So the Lion fell in love with the lamb.  
What a stupid lamb.  
What a sick masochistic lion._

I cringed at the thought.

That was the day i decided that i was going to see her again...once. She would never have to see me. I was only going to make sure that she was okay. I did not know how much it was going to hurt me to see her with Jacob...Imagine my surprise when i got to my house to find her there.

* * *

I sat in a tree overlooking the lake, the waterfall roared in my ears. Bella looked down at her reflection. I saw her eyes, they were red and puffy like she had been crying. A growl built in my chest. If Jacob had touched a single hair on her head, I was going to kill him, literally. I smiled at the thought of killing him. I heard her whisper my name...Before i could stop myself i called out her name.

"Bella." I clamped my mouth shut.

She looked around wildly, she looked straight at me. I stopped breathing. She quickly got up from the rock that she was perched on, she stumbled as she ran toward the waterfall.

No, she wasn't, I thought as she eyed the ledge.

Yes, of course she was, I thought as she stepped on to it.

She shuffled slowly across the slippery ledge. Suddenly she slipped, i had almost thrown myself out of the tree, when she caught herself. I breathed a sigh of relief. Suddenly she slipped again, this time falling into the freezing water. I starred at the water in shock, I did not want her to know i was here...did i let her save herself, or do it for her? I counted the seconds and watched the water anxiously. A string of bubbles emerged from the depths of the black water. That was my sign that she wasn't going to save herself. I dived into the water without making a splash. I searched and searched for her, where was she? finally i spotted her at the bottom of the lake. I swam at lightning fast vampire speed and gently grasped her, pushing off from the murky lake floor. I launched out of the lake, and landed on the soft grass with a _thump_. I gently laid her in the grass. I knew immediately that she had stopped breathing. I looked at her. Her eyes were closed, her lips turned down in a slight frown. Her lips were purple. I gently lifted her chin back, opening her airway. Then i placed my mouth over hers, pushing all the air i had into her lungs. I pulled back.

Nothing.

I pushed down on her chest, compressing her lungs.

Still nothing.

"Breathe Bella, love come on don't give up on me now...Breathe!" I whispered as i pushed air into her lungs again.

I pulled back as she started coughing.

Thank God. She was alive.

She coughed up water as she desperately tried to breathe on her own.

Finally she laid back, her eyes opened, a dark haze covered her eyes. I leaned back. I realized that i should have ran away when i had the chance.

Her hand reached out blindly toward me. I felt the heat radiating from her. I stayed perfectly still, i watched as her eyes slowly cleared. She placed her hand on my cheek. I sighed as the heat flowed from her to me, it spread like fire. I wanted to stay like this forever, just her and me. That is what scared me the most. I knew it could not stay this way.

I had to leave.

I ran as fast as i could, but i could not help but whisper into the wind.

"Good bye love."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I decided that i was going to see Carlisle and Esme in Deli... I needed to talk to Carlisle, I wanted to ask him for his advice on Bella. I knew i should stay out of her life as much as possible...But after today i didn't know if i could do that. I knew talking about Bella was going to be painful for Esme, and i didn't want to hurt her. I knew she only wanted to see me happy. I was never going to be truly happy...Images of Bella flashed through my head. Bella smiling as she laid in my arms. Bella rolling her eyes at Alice. Her eyes, her hair, her smell... I shook my head trying to clear it.

For the first time i noticed where i was, i was getting close to Deli... I gradually started slowing down. I had come to a halt in the middle of a clearing. I closed my eyes. Breathing in deeply, someone was coming. I searched the woods for their thoughts.

_Is Edward really here? I miss him so much, the poor dear. My poor son. _

I frowned slightly, i didn't want sympathy from anyone. Both Carlisle and Esme slowly stepped out of the wooded area. They both examined my appearance. An instant later they were by my side. I felt Carlisle's hand on my shoulder.

_I'm glad you came back to us son. Noting has been the same since you left. We all miss you._

I knew the look on my face was blank, empty. Because i felt nothing, being with her was my only purpose in life... I felt Esme hug me tightly enough to break human bones. I just stood there...Finally she pulled away.

_There's a reason you are here isn't there Edward?_

I looked back at him and nodded.

"Esme lets take Edward back to the house, I think we have a lot of catching up to do."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Just go Edward." Carlisle growled, as he stood protectively in front of Esme. She held her head in her hands, invisible tears ran down her cheeks.

"Carlisle..." Esme choked out a plea.

"No Esme...All he does is sit up stairs, and sulk. Now he comes down here and yells at you!" He turned her in his arms, I felt sick to my stomach.

"He just misses her...Thats all." Esme cried into his chest.

"That is no excuse for what he said to you!" Carlisle roared, his patience spread thin. After all these weeks of watching me suffer in silence, he had finally had enough.

"Esme.." I started "I am sorry for what i said, I'm sorry for everything. I have caused you pain I am so sorry. You have to know that." I whispered as i backed away slowly. Carlisle's eyes softened. Pain ripped through my non beating heart. How could i do this to my family. I was hurting them. I shuttered at the thought. I couldn't stay here any more. I turned away from them and ran out the back door.

"Edward wait!" the muffled cry was lost among the wind.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It was a ridiculous concept that I could miss one person so much...but I did. It was ridiculous that I hadn't thought of anything else, or eaten anything since that day I saved her...but I had. None of it made sense, by all accounts I should not feel this way...This is what she did to me. I had promised her that I would never leave her unless she wanted me to. I never thought it would be so hard to walk away from her. I didn't think that I could do it, she was everything to me. My shooting star, the light in my darkness. I guess this was God's way of putting me in my place. I had no right being happy. It was God's cruel joke. He gave me this wonderful creature to prove that there was something worth living for, then just as quickly he took it away; like someone giving a recovering heroin addict a hit of heroin.

I ran effortlessly through the forest, everything was silent. I was too caught up in my own train of thought that I didn't notice that I was at the meadow until I had ran past it, I looked back. I shook my head, as I walked back at human pace. It was strange how the world worked. Here I was thinking about the woman that I love, and I end up unknowingly at the place where I discovered that I was truly and desperately in love with her. I sat down in the soft grass, remembering that day.

* * *

She looked so beautiful, she sat beside me with her chin resting on her knees. Her hair blew in the wind. I looked up at her, and smiled. I hummed the beginning of a piece that I was working on. In my mind I started composing, humming parts of it to see if it worked. I gently opened my eyes to look at her. The next part in the song came to me effortlessly. I saw her hesitate and then reach out, her small finger traced the patterns on my arm. Her touch was glorious, heat radiated from her, a blanket of warmth. I welcomed it openly. Usually humans tended to avoid my kind, so I had never experienced this kind of warmth. Which brought up some questions. Why wasn't she frightened? Why wasn't she running away screaming? It would have been a normal response. Yet here she was caressing a monster. I looked at her in wonderment. Her big brown eyes looked right back, her eyes filled with what could only be described as disbelief. I smiled

"I don't scare you?" I asked trying to make it sound playful but I was curious. I wanted to know what was going on in that pretty little head of hers. It was frustrating not to be able to hear what was going on in her mind.

"No more than usual." she replied, I smiled wider.

* * *

I was brought back to the present, when I heard the soft footsteps on the forest floor. My eyes narrowed. Who would come this far out, why were they here? I searched the forest for their thoughts.

Nothing.

Impossible.

I got up from the grass where I was sitting, and ran to the far side of the meadow. If it was a camper, I doubted that I would be able to contain myself. I was so thirsty, I felt the burning in the back of my throat tighten. I tried to search the forest again for something, anything.

Nothing.

Who was this person? Why could I not hear them? The only person I had never been able to hear...No.

No.

It couldn't be. It wasn't. Suddenly she stumbled through the thick brush. A sudden gust of wind blew her scent toward me, her scent filled my senses, the most desirable thing I had ever smelt, the effects of my absence from her was evident in my reaction. The monster in my head reared its ugly head. He smiled in anticipation.

_Take her now._

He growled _There are no witnesses, no one will even know she is gone._

I shook my head, trying to get rid of the voice.

_Its only one girl. _

_Do it. _

_Do it now. _

The wind shifted direction. The fog dissipated from my mind. I looked down ashamed at my thoughts. The remnants of my thirst was evident, my throat burned, venom filled my mouth.

A half of a second had past.

"Bella?" I questioned my sanity. Could she really be there?

I heard her gasp, she saw me. I heard her heartbeat double in speed. I looked up, she and her eyes closed, the expression on her face was of pure concentration. Like she was trying to make herself believe something. She looked back at me. Again her eyes closed.

"Bella."

I wanted to feel her warmth, I needed it I realized. I ran toward her. She looked up again, her arms wrapped tighter around her waist. I remembered to be careful as I reached up to cup her face. She looked confused as she starred back into my eyes, surprised.

"Yesss." Her eyes rolled back into her head, her body gave out from under her. I caught her effortlessly, swinging her up bridal style. I gently leaned my lips down to her exposed neck, i softly kissed the fragile skin under which the life giving blood flowed. I inhaled the luscious scent of her blood, and the ache in my throat grew slightly. I smiled; nothing i could not handle. I felt her heart beat solidly against my chest. I started running and i thought i heard something so soft i thought it might have been my imagination. _Tha thump tha thump._ The gentle sound of another heartbeat.

* * *

_Phew, that was a long one...But i hope you enjoy it! I am sorry it took me so long to get this thing up, but i just started writing, it seemed like to much and bla bla bla!_

_REVIEW! I don't care if you liked it hated it, i want to hear! _

**Emmett: Do you want to hear what i have to say?**

_Me: No! _

**Emmett: Want a cookie?**


	11. Chapter 10: Here with you

_Okay i know it has been like forever since i last updated...I am sorry! My life has been a little crazy lately...blah blah blah...I know you don't want to here excuses _

_Thankyou for the AMAZING reviews! I love you guys! But not as much as i love EDWARD! _

_

* * *

__Me: Hello? HELLOOOOOO *echos* Emmett don't you have anything to say?_

**Emmett: Hello little girl! **

_Me: uhh... Hi. *Notices Emmetts hand behind his back*  
whatcha got? _

**Emmett: I don't know what your talking about. *whistles in innocence***

_Me: Come on! I won't tell anyone. It can be our little secret! *tries to peek around him* _

**Emmett: Nope this is my secret and that's the way its going to stay *jumps away***

_Me: Show me! *runs toward him*  
_

**Emmett: No! *jumps away again*  
**

_Me: Show me! Now! *runs toward him again* _

**Emmett: Okay if you say so. *brings out a pie from behind his back* **

_Me: What's that for? *backs away suspicious*_

**Emmett: Its for you! *throws the pie, it hits her in the face***

_Me: *Wipes her hand over her face, pie filling falls to the floor*  
EMMETT! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!_

**Emmett: *smiles*  
You can't kill me. I'm a vampire!**

_Me: There are exceptions to every rule, maybe you could be one of them!_

* * *

Chapter 10

Here With You.

BPOV

Reality slowly started sinking in on me. First thing I found was that I was in a bed, and a comfortable one at that. Second thing was that I was freezing, I felt a cold pressure on my chest right above my heart. I shivered, and it was gone, replaced by something warm, I sighed and snuggled into it. The third thing I noticed was a presence near me, it was like I was being magnetically pulled toward something, or someone. I rolled from my back to my side so I was facing this unknown thing. Suddenly memories flooded my mind.

Gagging as the eggs slid into the trash.

The note.

The phone call, and Jacob, I shuttered.

Falling down on the concrete, the blood.

Driving to nowhere.

The unknown path.

The Meadow...and Edward.

My eyes popped open, the bright light blinded me. I quickly shut my eyes, but not before I saw him in his sparkling glory. I quickly let my eyes adjust under my lids. I opened them again expecting to see him, but he was gone. I surveyed the room, it was magnificent to say the least. In front of me stood a huge old wooden door, the kind you would expect to see on an old Gothic church, its dark wood matched the dark wood flooring. The wall that held the door was covered in books, spanning from the floor to ceiling was at lest twenty feet. To my right was a wall of windows. The room overlooked a wonderful view of a river, the sound now reached my ears, gentle like a lullaby.

To my left was a wall filled with pictures. I recognized these pictures, they were the ones from Carlisle's office. But there was a new one. I slowly got up from the bed, and walked over to it. I placed my hand on the canvas. There portrayed in black and white was a huge lion was surrounded by tall grass its huge mane flowed in the wind. His eyes were looking down at the small being laying next to him. Beside the huge wondrous creature was a tiny lamb, it looked up at me with big doe like eyes. I couldn't take my eyes off of it. Slowly I realized that I was crying, before I could wipe the tears away I felt a cold smooth thumb caress my cheek where the tear had once been. I closed my eyes and slowly turned toward him. I opened my eyes.

My heart stopped.

Standing before me was the most beautiful creature in the entire world. The man that I had given my heart to, and I couldn't take it back, because it belonged to him. His golden topaz eyes searched mine, my heart was in my eyes. He gently framed my face with his hands. His touch made me shiver. Ever so slowly he lowered his lips to mine. This was nothing like I had ever felt before, he had never kissed me like this when we were together. Gentle passion filled every movement, he pulled away. I was gasping for breath, he planted small kisses along my jaw.

"Edward." I whispered his name, it felt good on my lips.

He gently kissed the hallow under my ear. My arms were wrapped around his neck, and his around my waist. I gently tugged on his hair, his eyes lifted so that they were even with mine. I pulled my arms away from around his neck to place them on either side of his face.

"Edward, I am so sorry..." Before I could continue he placed a cold finger on my lips to stop me.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, love." He gently lifted me and walked over to the bed, he set me down gently. Laying down beside me. I snuggled into him, he gently kissed the top of my head, I flinched in pain. I pulled away from him, he watched me carefully with out saying a word. I gently probed the sore spot on my head. I slowly got up and walked toward the wall of windows. I saw my reflection and gasped.

The entire right side of my face was cut and bruised, A huge long scratch lined my cheek. The cuts were cleaned and butterfly bandages were placed over them. I slowly turned and found that Edward was right behind me, I noticed that his topaz eyes were filled with anger, pain, and sadness.

He gently traced the cuts with his finger. "Who did this to you?" His voice was laced with anger and worry.

I was confused, what was he talking about, did he think that someone hurt me? I starred at him dazed and dazzled.

"If he touched you Bella..." he took a deep breath as if he was trying to calm himself.

"I'm going to kill him." He finished his eyes grew with rash excitement.

"Edward, no..." I whispered as I grabbed his face in my hands. The excitement faded

"Jacob would never do that, he loves me...or at least he did." I muttered as I looked down at the floor. I felt his hand reach under my chin, his eyes met mine.

"Don't worry, I'll take you back to him. Then you won't see me again...You can be happy...with Jacob." His eyes were empty.

I shook my head fiercely. I didn't want to go back to Jacob.

"No, I want to stay with you." I muttered softly. His eyes intensified.

"Say it again. For me, please." he closed his eyes. I knew what it felt like to think that it wasn't real. So I said it again.

"I want to be with you forever. I love you Edward." I gently kissed the tops of his eyes. I leaned forward and rested my head on his chest, his arms hesitantly wrapped around my waist.

"You don't know what it means to me to hear you say that." He whispered in my ear. He gently picked me up and ran to the bed, he laid me gently on the feathery mattress, then laid down beside me. I shivered as his cold body brushed up against mine, he reached over me to retrieve the blanket. The closeness of him made my heart stop. I could feel coldness radiating from his body. I reached out and touched his chest, he stopped, his eyes searched mine. He leaned down, his lips were a breath away. I quickly closed the distance between us, eager to feel his lips on mine again.

How many times had I wished that I could kiss him one more time, and here I was kissing him again. Our lips danced in perfect unison, I gently nipped his bottom lip, his tongue invaded my mouth, I welcomed it. He adjusted himself so that he was hovering over me. I took control of the kiss my passion raised, I was running out of air.

Stupid breathing!

He released my lips and moved over my jaw. I was gasping for air, he smiled against my neck.

"Edward." I breathed

"Hummm?" he traced his nose along my collar bone, inhaling deeply. He moved back to my lips. My heart thumped against my chest.

"Bella if you don't calm down your going to have a heart attack." He whispered between kisses. I laughed

"Maybe my heart wouldn't act like this, if you wouldn't kiss me like that."

He laughed, and this time it reached his eyes. He shifted again so that he was laying beside me again, his arms wrapped around my waist. I could have laid there forever, but my stomach had other ideas, it growled so loudly I looked down at my stomach, shocked. Edward laughed

"Are you hungry?" He asked still laughing

"I guess." I replied as blush rose from my cheeks. He brushed his lips over my cheek,

"Beautiful." he said it so fast I almost didn't catch it...almost.

He lifted me up and ran down the stairs. We were sitting in the kitchen before I could even blink. I was sitting at the bar in front of Edward as he stood in front of the stove. He was beautiful, as the sun cascaded over him, causing sparkles to jump off his skin. His perfect chiseled features, he looked like he was a model for a home improvement magazine. I smiled at the thought.

"What do you want me to fix you?"

I was shocked, "Since when do you cook?" considering that he hadn't had anything solid to eat for the past 113 years, I figured that cooking was the one thing that I was always going to be better at than him.

"I have my ways. Now what would you like?" He smiled my favorite crooked smile.

My mouth watered. Suddenly I was starving.

"I don't know...surprise me."

He reached down and reveled a huge pan, he moved to the fridge he brought out eggs, milk, and vanilla. He started beating them together.

"So what am I having for breakfast?" he added some Cinnamon, and something else that I didn't get a chance to look at before he added it to the mixture.

"French toast." He smiled as my stomach growled again.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It smelt so good, he flipped the toast on to a plate then he added a little syrup, he handed me the plate. I picked up the fork and hesitated, we would see who's was better! I carefully cut a piece and placed it in my mouth.

Shoot it was better than mine! Not only was it better than mine, it was a lot better. Darn it! At first the sweetness of the syrup overtook my senses, but then as it faded away and the slight spiciness combined with the sweetness of the cinnamon overtook my mouth.

"Mmmm." I sighed as I swallowed.

"Do you like it?" he was suddenly sitting in the chair next to me, his lips were curled up slightly in a smile.

I recovered quickly "its alright." His smile grew.

"Liar." He said laughing.

I smiled at him "Shut up." I mumbled as I shoved another forkful into my mouth.

After I finished breakfast, Edward washed the dishes. I smiled at his back, I had never seen Edward do dishes before, it was kinda fun to watch.

"Where did you go?" I asked shyly, he stopped scrubbing the dishes, his head fell forward.

"Around." he whispered. I got up from the bar and walked towards him.

"Please," I muttered touching his arm. He let out a breath, turning toward me. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and pulled me close.

"It doesn't matter anymore, as long as you are with me." I gently laid my head on his chest, he gently kissed my hair.

We had both been broken, torn apart by the other. Love gained and love lost. Each time we had come back to each other. He pulled back a slow smile leaked onto his face.

I smiled back. "What?"

he pointed down at my shirt, I looked down, around my waist was a wet stain from where he had hugged me. I laughed as I looked up at him. He was looking over my shoulder, his lips pulled down in a frown.

I turned to see what he was looking at, but he grabbed my hand and started pulling me in the opposite direction.

"Come on I want to show you the rest of the house." He said smiling.

"What was?..." I started

"Silly Bella," He smiled dazzlingly "you worry to much."

I felt dizzy, and my heart beat went crazy. I was really out of shape for this whole dazzling thing. One thing was for sure, I wasn't as young as I used to be

"Breathe, Bella." He reminded me. I took a huge breath and he smiled again.

The room that he pulled me into looked like it was being used as a living room. But it was huge, the staircase was in the center of the room. I realized that it was majestic and wonderful, it rolled gently becoming wider and wider as it descended. The dark hardwood continued through the house, it matched the wood on stairs. The railing and the wood surrounding the dark flooring was a pearly white color. As we pasted the staircase, the piano came into view. I gasped at the beauty of it, instead of the traditional black color, it was white. It reflected off the dark floor.

Edward gracefully sat on the piano bench, I sat next to him. He looked at me intently,

"I haven't played in five years, ever since you left music hasn't held anything for me."

I frowned. I hadn't realized how much I had destroyed him after I left. I had caused him pain. I shivered at the thought.

"Will you play for me now?" I whispered

"Anything for you love." He smiled as he placed his hands on the keys. His eyes closed as he played my lullaby. I hummed along with the well known melody. I watched his hands flutter across the keys, it seemed almost effortless.

But suddenly the room was spinning again, a wave of nausea hit me like a tidal wave. I tried to hold it back, I placed my hand over my mouth, and I closed my eyes. The music stopped.

"Bella?"

"I'm going to be sick." I muttered, he quickly carried me toward the bathroom. He set me down in front of the toilet, I bent froward as I threw up what was the most amazing breakfast I had ever had.

Needless to say, it didn't taste so good coming back up.


	12. Chapter 12: The Vision

_Okay so first of all i want to say.....I'M SO SORRY!!!!  
I know you guys have been waiting so long and that i left you on a cliffy!!!!! And i am so sorry!  
I feel really bad. :( I know there is no excuse for my betrayal... here is the next chapter for all who still want to read it.  
:|love you?? :)_

**Emmett: Well look who desided to join the party. Welcome back from the dead *pretends to be a zombi* **

_Me: So you missed me did you?_

**Emmett: Naaa I just missed my play toy.**

_Me: What happened to Mr. Squeekers? _

**Emmett: Rose took him away from me. Wanna help me get him back?**

_Me: uhhh sure...._

**Emmett: SCORE!!!!! **

* * *

Chapter 12

The Vision

What was wrong with me? I thought to myself, I should have been blissfully happy, I was with Edward for the first time in five years. But instead I was stuck on this stupid couch being sick. Edward was picking out a movie, that I knew I was not going to watch, because I was suddenly sleepy.

"Edward?" I whispered quietly.

Suddenly he was at my side. "Yes my love? You don't look good, do you want something to drink?"

I shook my head "Where did you go Edward, when you left?"

The smile on his face dimmed "Bella my love..."

"Please Edward I want to know." his head bent forward, pain etched into his every feature.

"Alright love, if that's what you want." I nodded, he continued "I went to Africa, to just think things through." He shook his head "now I realize it was only to make myself suffer as much as possible. I didn't hunt for a long time, I just stayed out of sight, I shut down Bella. I didn't keep in touch with the family at all, I couldn't bear the thought of being in a room with the people who loved and missed you almost as much as I did. I thought they blamed me."  
this time I shook my head. "Edward it was my fault not yours. I was stupid..."

" No, you were smart, Bella. I understand why you did it, you wanted love, the kind I could not give you. You chose the monster that could give you...things that I can not"

I shook my head. That wasn't true.

"Edward there is nothing that you can't give me."

He smiled meekly. "Yes love there is." The sadness in his eyes broke my heart in half. I place my hands on either side of his face.

"I don't want anything you can't give me."

His eyes widened. I looked at him confused.

"Edward what's wrong?" he pulled my hands away from his face.

"Don't say such things Bella please."

I rolled my eyes "Edward it's true, there is nothing that Jacob gave me that I love more than you...except our children."

Edward looked away, Then I understood.

"Edward I love my children, Charlie and Caleb are amazing. They were my life, I would do anything for them. I hope that one day you will get to meet them."

Edward's eyes met mine. "I will love anything that comes from you, Bella. I want you to know that."  
I smiled, he was so sweet sometimes.

"What was it like?" Edward looked down

"What was what like?" I asked confused

"Having a child." He muttered still looking down. I laughed, sometimes with all the vampire stuff I forgot that Edward was still a man.

"It hurt...a lot...."

This time Edward laughed. "No, no Bella, I know all about child birthing. I've studied with Carlisle for a few centuries." I starred at him blankly. Not understanding what he meant.

"Bella I mean raising the child, what was it like?" He clarified.

"Oh well, at first it was hard. Especially since I had no one to teach me how to raise them. Eventually, I got over worrying if I was doing the right thing, and I did what came naturally to me. Raising Charlie and Caleb was harder than I thought, but they were such good babies. They are still really good kids, I love them...I miss them so much." When I finished tears filled my eyes.

"I'm sorry." Edward whispered whipping the tears away from my cheeks.

" No it's alright." I whispered. I felt a surge of hatred towards Jacob. He was the reason I would never see them again. He cheated on me, he used me. My heart thumped wildly, I hated him! This was what he did to me. He broke my heart. Well he wasn't going to break my babies! I was going to get them back if it killed me. I looked at Edward in determination.

"Bella?" His eyes searched mine for some reason. "Bella, love what's wrong?"

"He took them from me. Edward, my babies." I hissed through clamped teeth.

"Bella honey, calm down." his soothing voice only brought more anger to the surface.

"I will not calm down Edward. That thing made me leave you, he convinced me that he would love me forever. Then conveniently, five years later he finds his 'imprint'." I laughed. "Then he takes the one thing that tied me to the ground while you were gone. I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!" my voice hit two octaves higher. Edward's eyes widened at my outburst, this was so not like me. In the back of my mind I knew that, at that moment I was too enraged to care.  
I stood, ready to continue my rant. Suddenly I felt weak, the room started to spin, my sight started to darken. My breathing came in short pants, my stomach churned.

"Bella?" I felt his hands around my waist.

"Edward." I whispered as I fell into the darkness.

* * *

(EPV) I never get tired of him!!! :)

Bella fell into my arms, I looked down at her in surprise. Was that what I thought it was? Did she just have a major mood swing. I smiled at the thought. Suddenly Alice was beside me.

"Ohhhh I'm so excited!!! A baby Edward! Think of the possibilities! We'll need a crib, some toys and..."

I rolled my eyes, of course Alice would know that Bella was pregnant. I turned toward her.

"Was my death stare not a big enough sign? Get out of here Alice." I started walking up the stairs.

"That's a fine way to greet your sister after five years of not seeing her!" Alice huffed folding her arms over her chest.

I sighed "Hello Alice, how have you been?"

"Excellent!!!" She sang happily

"Oh Edward! Your going to make me godmother aren't you? And of course Jasper should be the godfather." Alice glided giddily around me as I walked up the stairs.

I laughed "Yes Alice Bella is going to make Jasper the godfather, after he tried to kill her a few years ago, because he could not control himself."

Alice frowned, "maybe your right. Jasper is still adjusting. Ohhh I know, you can make Emmett the godfather."

"Alice please." I muttered to her as I set Bella on the bed. "Why are you here?" I asked as I turned towards her.

_I was worried about you._

"Don't lie to me Alice you never checked up on me before so why now?" I hissed angrily at her.

_Well...I mean...I was worried about Bella too. _

"Alice what are you not telling me?"

"God Edward to you have to be such a spoil sport!" She rolled her eyes at me, but not before I saw a flash of danger in her eyes.

"Alice if this has anything to do with Bella..." I glared at her, she looked down at the floor, then back at me.

"Tell me." I whispered angrily not wanting to wake Bella.

It all came out like a river then "Okay, okay, okay! I know that you told me not to butIdiditanyway. Sodon'tgetmadatmeforlookingafterher. I could never see her anyway because she was always with that MUTT! But lately I have been able to see her, and I've seen the baby Edward...She is beautiful!!! And your going to love her! But..." She hesitated, then she closed her eyes. I saw it in her mind.

Bella stood in the middle of our field, her back was to me, her hair blowing in the wind. I could hear a baby crying somewhere, I heard myself call her name,

"Bella."

Ever so slowly she started to turn to face me, as she did the sun burst through the trees and hit her skin. Diamonds reflected off of her. In her arms was a tiny little baby, wrapped in a purple blanket, she was crying, her little arms reached out to grab something, but nothing was there. Bella looked up at me. Her eyes were the color of crimson, her skin as pale as mine. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. She smiled at me, then her eyes lowered, to the baby. She smiled again, but this was different, evil somehow. Bella let out a monstrous growl as she attacked the baby viciously, tearing the blanket, blood dripped from her hands and teeth, the lifeless corpse of the baby dropped to the ground.

I looked down at Alice. She looked up at me.

"No." I whispered brokenly.

"Come on Edward lets go, you don't want to wake Bella." Alice said quietly.

I nodded my head, deadly. I looked over toward the woman that I loved. The woman who I had just seen kill her own child, as a blood thirsty monster, that no doubt I had created. How could this happen? What had I done to deserve this? Alice tugged on my arm. I followed her, not really seeing where we were going. Not really caring.

Alice finally stopped.

I fell to my knees, my hands covered my head. My heart would have broken if it had not been dead for a hundred years. I screamed, the sound bounced off of the trees. It was the mournful sound of a monster realizing the fate that he had exposed to the love of his life, a human.

"Edward." Alice whispered placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. I winced at the physical contact.

"When?" I whispered hoarsely

"A few hours ago. I knew I needed to see you immediately. To stop you from doing something stupid."

"What should I do?" I asked looking up at her.

"The future is never for certain, Edward. It can always be altered."

"She can never become one of us." I whispered

"Edward..."

"Never. Do you hear me Alice, I will never allow that to happen." I said harshly, as I stood.

It was all very clear to me. I would always love Bella, but I would not allow her to become a monster. I would do everything in my power to stop it. I would love her until the day I died, and I would live with the remorse of knowing that I could have stopped her death for the rest of eternity.

Alice looked up at me with understanding, she knew what it was like to change the future, and to be the only one who knew about it.

"So I think Bella and I need to go shopping." Alice muttered happily.

"Is that your solution for everything?"

"Works every time." Alice smiled

* * *

_So here's the thing I am back now okay. So expect more posts!!!!! 1 every week. Review Review Review!!!!!_

_Me: Emm why are we sneeking around the basement._

**Emmett: Shushhhhhh *whispers* This is where Rose keeps her "secret stuff" *makes quotation marks in the air***

_Me: Why do we want to find her "secret stuff"? *makes quotation marks in the air* _

**Emmett: *turns around* That information is almost as secret as the goverments secret coverup of Bigfoot, and the Tooth Fairy!!! Classified Personel ONLY!!!!!!!**

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL :)))))


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